Right Here, Right Now.

"I..."

2012-02-15T17:44:00.000+08:00

I am oh so stressed out now. Project due this week - not even 80 % complete. Project due next week - have not started. Project due week after - not started.

These statuses make me wanna give up already. Can I give up now? ;(

"Bring me back to life..."

2012-02-11T18:26:00.003+08:00

I am supposed to do my research now .. but I'm just too distracted to start on it. I already have something in mind though. *guilty face*

So anyway, I've been thinking about investing some money. On skin care products. Yes, you read it correctly. I've been contemplating to buy from Praventac but I don't know if it's safe to consume it.

Image Source: http://www.ag-factor.com/japan/faq.html

I read some great reviews on several websites, including its website. But yeah, this may be bias cos which company wants to publish bad comments about its products right. But oh well ... I leave it to the public to discern that.

Anyway, back to my contemplation - I am at loss whether or not to invest on that. I've been having acne and acne scars since teenage years. Now, when I'm almost mid-20s, I don't think I should be sitting back and relax, and wait for the scars to disappear right .. I should do something about it - like that investment. What do you think?

I've signed up for some facial treatment package 2-3 years ago and I still have some sessions left with them. But I didn't complete my sessions. Why? Because they are horrible "beauty consultants". They force you to buy their products, they don't care whether you are comfortable or not during the treatment, and frankly I think they looked at your status (whether or not you are "big fish" to catch). I don't earn much - so probably they treated me that way. Haha! They are called ****** "Hope" ... Thinking back, I don't understand why the hell did I even sign up with them. It doesn't give you any hope seriously. Much less the "confidence" they promised (this was part of their tagline too ... RIGHT).

And then I tried new facial cleansers .. but it seems to make it worse. So I changed my make-up from L'Oreal to ZA. Frankly, it seems better .. less big breakouts. But oh well, it could be my imagination.

So my next step now is to think about investment in Praventac. I need to do in-depth research on this man ..

But before that research, I need to do my project research now which I've been procrastinating half the day ..

"You and me.."

2012-01-28T16:18:00.000+08:00

Like what many have said, life is fragile .. so treasure it while you still can.

Obviously, such phrases may be a little too profound for me at this stage cos' all I think about is having fun. But funny how life turned around so drastically for some people in a matter of seconds ..

Just yesterday, a colleague came by to my office to speak to one of us.. and before he left, he looked at me and said,"Bye Syam.. Have a good weekend .." and I replied,"You too..". But little did I know that God has planned his weekend to be with him.. This "weekend" is also for ever.

Life .. is as such. May God bless him.

"Lose your mind..."

2012-01-23T13:51:00.002+08:00

All I can say is... I have given up.

Really.

I have given up defending my stand.

"Sun is in the sky oh why oh why.."

2012-01-17T22:50:00.002+08:00

I think there's nothing wrong with me spewing vulgarities when I am angry. It's a way of venting my anger & frustration.

Think about it. You are tired after work and after enduring a 3-hour lecture, you are mad having to wait really long for the one & only bus that gets you home, your day sucked at work, your boyfriend showed no interest in what you are talking about, and after all of this, the best part is you gotta wake up early next morning for work.

You do this almost everyday for 1 ++ weeks. How could you not be crazily tired and torn? Some people do it once and goes all out telling others how they understand how it feels. But fact is, they do not cos they do it only once and/or they have been in that situation .. but at a freaking long time ago.

Till today, I still could not find an answer why people can be mad at other people and vent their anger, but when I do it, I get terribly punished. Is it wrong to spew vulgarities to vent your anger & frustration?

Why? Does it embarrass you? If it did, then I have to say that you are seriously in your stupid dream because you spew more of those words than I did. Face it - you are no freaking saint sad ass.

Why? Does it irritate you? If it did, then I am terribly horribly sorry .. Sorry for knowing that you are seriously more than a sad ass. If I could bear those words when you had a bad temper, I do not see why you cannot bear mine. Everyone has a temper - a different kind that is. So if I can bear yours (I am a girl for God sake) but you cannot bear mine, here is something for you - my lips - which spells SISSY and that
is you.

Why? Because you want me to be a good person? Oh yeah, all those holy lecturers have certainly taught me all the good person mantras but please do not be an extremist. Like I have said, I had a terrible day and that was what motivated those words out of my mouth. I do not use those words in an everyday fashion. But oh.. you did .. all the time when you had your convo with your friends. So yeah, play those good person mantras to sleep please.

I do not wish to hurt anyone seriously, but oh well, this has to come out sooner or later.

Till then Good People!

"Angels and devils..."

2012-01-15T13:38:00.001+08:00

I
Am
Sick
Of
Everything
.

"I was born to survive.. I was born to be brave.."

2012-01-01T23:10:00.001+08:00

2011 was indeed a year of no hesitation. Had my first trip with Saiful, made new friends, new job scopes, had steamboat for birthday, went to batam with parents and many many more great things which this space could not contain! Thank you Allah for blessing me with great people!

May this new year brings more positivity, happiness, better health and prosperity.. InsyaAllah!

Happy New Year 2012! :)

"Lay me down on a bed of roses.."

2011-12-01T07:47:00.001+08:00

It's 1st December 2011 sweetheart! So tears of happiness or sadness?

;)

"Step it up.. Step it up.."

2011-11-19T11:30:00.001+08:00

People just use my name at the wrong times, wrong place, wrong day/date, wrong situation, and with other wrong people.

The whole situation is all wrong. I should not be in the picture at all. Why was I even mentioned? Is there a need to so that they can "further justify" the situation? Well, maybe it did a little but it did more harm to me personally. I don't wish to interfere in all of these dramas. It's so unfortunate that I happened to be there and heard it. But what could I do when it's fated. Did I ask to be there? No. Did I want to be there? No. Did I want to listen to those conversations & make a mountain out of it? HELL NO.

If they felt that I had interfered (which I seriously think is utterly ridiculous), then .. it's just too bad.

And I'm not sorry at all. Too bad for you.

"I do nothing but the best.."

2011-11-05T09:15:00.001+08:00

I've ended my exams! Not too sure about the feeling though. Happy, sad, nervous etc etc..

Come 1st December, you'll either see tears of joy.. Or tears of sadness. Of course I hope it'll be the former. But oh well, I must be mentally prepared for any outcomes.

So, my plan after the exams was to recover my lost sleep... But I woke up much earlier than expected today. Guess it must be the post-exam jitters. Ha ha.

And since I can't sleep as much as I want now, I shall indulge in stoning, watching TV, YouTube-ing, listening to the radio, borrow novels (no management textbooks! Ha ha), G Market-ing and probably to clean up my room (messy notes & books are all over the place).

So enjoy your day & bye!

"Say you change your mind now.."

2011-11-03T08:56:00.001+08:00

Good morning lovelies! Up and running for revision for the last paper tomorrow! Time flies...

The past 2 exams were very tough.. Had mental blocks & body system seems to get a lil haywire. Slept for a while yesterday but woke up feeling more tired than ever. Sigh..

Please wish me luck to overcome the last hurdle tomorrow & to pass all my exams.. Insya'Allah (meaning if God's willing)..

Have a good day.

"The skies above.."

2011-10-28T00:10:00.001+08:00

If you feel that you could do better to educate and take care of your child's well-being, then do it yourself. Don't go around blaming others for your own mistakes. Be thankful that you've the support of your family to help you.

We certainly hope the best for you and your family, and pray that one day your brains will function well.

Goodnight ;)

"Purple rain.."

2011-10-27T02:50:00.001+08:00

Exams are looming and here I am blogging.. Frankly, I totally am unmotivated and I do not have a reason for it. Maybe it is because of the 3-year gap? Hmmmm. I hope I can do well. Gotta go.. Wish me all the good luck for my exams!

"Who run the world..."

2011-07-29T14:26:00.001+08:00

Hello all, how are you? Hope everything is going great on your end.

I have started school and I must agree with ALB that there is a large gap between polytechnics' and universities' concepts. While the number of projects and tests that we did in polytechnic are similar, I couldn't agree more with ALB that the essay writing and research projects concepts are definitely more demanding and stressful in universities.

I'm currently working on this individual assignment (essay writing) on work gender differentials in Singapore and in Western countries based on Catherine Hakim's theory. The expectation is that I should analyse critically, no plagiarism at all times (it'll lead to an F grade) and use high-quality sources to support my argument.

Frankly speaking:
(1) I did not think so much about plagiarism back in polytechnic since it wasn't highly emphasized. So this change in plagiarism concept totally made my research tougher. And boosted acne growth and hair loss.
(2) High-quality sources in polytechnic is basically using Google, Yahoo!, MSN or whichever search engines to find the relevant articles for the projects. But now, high-quality sources have certain criteria. For example, you could only use articles/journals from business search engines such as EBSCO, Science Direct etc.
(3) I'm never good with argumentative essays. The lack of proficiency in English and the understanding on its structure explain it all.

While I understand that these challenges would probably help me in future careers, I didn't think it should be this tough for post-polytechnic graduates (PPG) like me at this moment. These criteria, I believe, gives the post-GCE 'A' Level students an edge than the rest of the PPG, since they have done General Paper before (2-3 years) and should probably know the structure better. Moreover, their command in English are expected to be better too.

Essay writing guides are helpful but to master it within 1 month or less is not practical. Cut-throat deadlines doesn't help either, especially if someone is working and studying at the same time (that's me and 140+ students in my class).

I did confide in my friends and family that sometimes, I questioned my presence in this programme. I guess the deadlines and all the challenges have gotten the better of me (or is it the Satans?).

Though that popped up several times, I know I couldn't quit. Well, not because I am bounded by the school's contract etc. But, to put it in a positive, motivating way, I am no quitter. Even if I don't do well, I must not quit. I must strive hard and do my family & myself proud.

So, wish me good luck through this journey and hopefully my first assignment is a success.

Now, could anyone share with me your thoughts on Catherine Hakim? :-)

"On the floor...."

2011-05-22T12:23:00.002+08:00

Afternoon all, how are you doing? I hope all of you are doing very well ...

Anyway, I'm here to share good news yesterday that I was accepted ... Overwhelming excitement? Well, not really... but enough to keep me awake for almost the whole night .. Money is always an issue .. and if the bank do not process it in time, there goes my enrolment ... not sure whether i should call it late enrolment? Or probably no enrolment (no way)? Let's cross fingers..

My mum suddenly talked to me about being prepared and reminded me not to waste my time ... Technically, I am ready to study ... but physically, emotionally and mentally (does spiritual strength count too? hehe), I don't know whether I am ready ... It will only be known when I attend those briefings and when lessons commence ...

I know this journey's gonna be tough .. but oh well ... it is road less taken by many of my smart friends who got into the prestigious universities ... but I am very sure with the support of my family and colleagues & hard work, I don't think this should be a major issue altogether ... I'm just gonna keep thinking this way ...

On a lighter note, I will be going to Bangkok, Thailand for a holiday this coming weekend... Yes, HOLIDAY ... doesn't that seem too far-fetched in my life before? Hehehe, well, I've worked hard and so I believe I should be given some sort of credit ... yes, an EXPENSIVE credit ... for working hard ... I hope there'll be peace between us and pray that this journey will be safe and fruitful ... And oh yes how could I forget the shopping craze... I'm SOOOO looking forward to that ...

Please give me all your blessings and love ..... and take great care.. :-)

"Forget you ... "

2011-04-10T22:30:00.002+08:00

I just added The Daily Gemini on Twitter and I absolutely love the tweets!

Well, obviously I love them since we are of the same kind .. He he he ..

Anyway, my mood's kinda bad today (and will be for the following week) and I don't think there's a need to explain why I'm feeling this way. But with this daily Gemini tweets, I hope my mood will be lifted and that I will persevere.. till my upcoming VACATION!

Yes, I will be having a VACATION next month! My birthday month .. How can I not be excited.. "Excited" is not even the expression to describe my feeling.. It's just.. an OVERWHELMING FANTABULOUS WONDERFUL CRAZY feeling!

I totally can't wait for it .. But since it's slightly more than a month away, I should use this "excitement energy" to focus and do well on my work! I must do my best and think happy thoughts!

So ...

Goodnight, please take care!

P.S: Birthday month is also equivalent to a busy month.. Similar to April .. Sigh!

"Time goes by so slowly for those who wait..."

2011-03-08T23:04:00.006+08:00

Dear Readers (don't laugh, let me just pretend that I have thousands of readers),

How are you? I hope everything have been going great for you this year ... Remember, 2011 should be the year of No Hesitation! Well ... of course with the exception of our young teens and potential criminals .. "Mummy and daddy say no sex before marriage and don't lie because God can see what you are doing" - so practice that mantra!

Anyway, like I have mentioned, 2011 should be the year of No Hesitation. So if you have been eyeing on that watch since 2 years ago but too scared to part with your money, or have been stalking this boy/girl sitting across your computer lab but just way too shy to speak up, or been trying to lose that 20kg belly fat but just waaaaay too lazy to do anything (that's me by the way), this is the year to embark on those aims which drives you nowhere ...

Like what our legendary Diva Madonna sang in "Hung Up":-

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait

No time to hesitate

Those who run seem to have all the fun

...

...

So, what are you waiting for? Do what you've been aiming for (repeat: good things only!) and you'll be a healthier and happier person (maybe even wealthier)! Yes, I really am going to start an exercise regime to lose that 20kg of belly fat ... No more 1 plate of rice (just half a plate), no more 2 fried chickens from North Canteen (none for me every alternate month) and no more Ferrero Rocher (but but but maybe just 1 ball, hehe .. ). Well, whatever it is, I'm gonna start working on that .. though that "sacrifice" may be small .. :-)

For those who are lost on what to do this year, or the next second, minute, hour, day, week, month, please do not worry ... Why don't you use that energy to think of organizing something exciting and enriching for yourself? Or for your beloved family and friends? I am sure they are more than happy if you could do something for them ... especially if it comes with monetary rewards ... :p

Well well well, so no hesitation y'all and let's do something about those "aimless" aims!

Till then XOXO,

De Hobbit

"Show a little more .... Show a little less ..."

2011-02-02T20:03:00.001+08:00

Hello all, wishing you a Happy & Prosperous New Year! Today, the staff was entitled to half day so that's why this post sounded a lil happy... Hehehe.

Anyway, today I got myself one of Dale Carnegie's book! Yeah, so happy... Gonna start reading soon ... :)

Enjoy your holidays ... !

" It’s a passion, and emotion, it’s a fashion, Burlesque ... "

2010-12-30T11:27:00.002+08:00

Good morning all - it's the second last day of 2010! And it has been 6 years with the most wonderful man in my life (beside bro & dad lah .. ) !

Let's look at what has happened for the past 12 months :

(1) January - April : I was still doing HL and serving the dept with the great boss and colleagues. I kinda miss working closely with the stds now ... He he he .. I was also serving another boss for this overseas programme which I am totally in love with now .. It's a different scope altogether and I must say I have really learn alot from him and the other international students .. On top of that, my elder sis gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Naufal Harith .. This boy is sleeping as I'm typing this ..

(2) May : I learnt the ropes of becoming a so-called permanent staff doing pretty tough system. And learnt that my predecessor is such a bitch ! It was also MY month .. ok ok, it was OUR month.. We turned 22 years old ... Thank Allah for giving us such lovely family and friends .. :-)

(3) June - July: I can't really remember what happened during these 2 months but I guess I was still struggling to understand the system and doing other ad-hoc jobs .. pretty tough ..

(4) August - September: It was National Day in August and I went to see the fireworks with him .. Amazing as usual .. Love love fireworks .. And at the same time it was also the fasting month for the muslims .. September was Hari Raya and it was pretty good ... Also the first celebration with my handsome nephew .. Love my nephew so much .. It was also my beautiful Mum's bday and we went to Tepak Sireh for celebrations ... LOVES! :-)

(5) October : Love October because we went to Seoul Garden to celebrate our ol man's 54th bday! And we went to Kota Tinggi Malaysia for holidays! Am so happy that we went for a holiday after so long .. Holiday as 1 family that is .. Cos usually we didn't do that due to conflicting schedules.. Thanks Allah again and I just gotta say this - LOVES! :-)

(6) November : Hmmm, let me see .... I totally can't remember! Ha ha ha ... It was just last month .. Let me recall .. Oh yeah, me and him went for kite flying .. Our first time and it was a success ... LOVES and hope to do more of such recreational activities ... :-)

(7) December : The month of all LOVES! Met my 2 ALB darlings - Sahara and Marcel at Bugis (yeah again but we loveeeeess) and we chatted and shared and many many more. I thank them again for all the beautiful memories in poly .. And thank them again for not backing out .. Ha ha ha .. Kidding kidding .. Hope to meet up with the other 2 ladies again .. Full force ALB outing!!! It was also the month of my so-called long leave .. Enjoying every second of it now.. Will only be back to work on Monday .. And also .... the very month that me and my darling have been together for 6 years! Damn it's long and I love him to bits and pieces ... Thanks Allah again for blessing me with such a darling .. We'll be celebrating the 6 years this week (to be exact it'll start from later part of today) !

Last but not least in December, it also marks the end of our 2010 journey and in about 1 day xxx hours, we'll be ushering a spanking brand new year - 2011 ! Let's all pray for world peace, no terrorist escapes whatsover, for boats at Sibu Island to be safer and for healthier/wealthier us!

Cheers to 2010 for all the good memories (though I didn't really spell out each of them) and here's a warm welcome to TWENTY ELEVEN! LOVES .. !!

(I just gotta end with LOVES .... Don't ask me why .. )

"It's a cold and dark December..."

2010-10-26T15:10:00.002+08:00

You know something. You said others copied you and we believed it. But I think YOU copied others. You know we know everyone knows the liar in you... You are not only a liar, stealer... but also a rapist. Not only did you attempt to copy others, but you also want to claim rights to it. Isn't that amounting to raping since you attempted to break open and seize the right without permission and with force? I'm laughing every second when I see your rapist face in my head now. RAPIST. LOL.

"Hai Selamat Hari Raya.."

2010-09-15T01:41:00.001+08:00

View image on Bing

Wishing all Muslimins and Muslimats a Happy Hari Raya... I will also like to use this opportunity to seek forgiveness for all my wrong doings and hope you could "Halalkan my makan and minum" ... I love you all and God Bless.

"Run devil devil run run .. "

2010-08-21T14:20:00.003+08:00

This is the poster I'm talking about ... Go watch it if you haven't! Can't wait for later ... :)

"Come on, it's time to love .."

2010-08-14T16:23:00.001+08:00

I just wrote a long entry and it's gone .. Gone with the wind.. whoosh! Yeah, something like that NPCC cheer ..

Anyway, I just finished watching this super marvellous, heart-wrenching Japanese drama called "I Give My First Love To You" or in Japanese "Boku no Hatsukoi wo Kimi ni Sasagu". Perfect for such a cool Saturday and great for couples who wish to just date at home.. So go watch it now .. I'm not gonna give any clue about what it is all about. I ain't a movie trailer a.k.a spoiler!

Till next time!

"Together we make a difference ... "

2010-08-09T14:58:00.002+08:00

I'm so happy today ... because today's a national day public holiday (and also because I'm not working, hehehe) ! Happy birthday Singapore! Love you to bits and pieces ... despite all the kaypoh and typical passengers who rushed in and out of the trains and buses, despite that particular rude neighbour that don't hold lifts for other neighbours, despite the bonds that cracked, despite the economic turbulence (it has recovered slowly ...) .. Despite all of the nonsense, Singapore is the place I'll call Home ..

And yes, for those who feel that Singapore "cramped" your style, why are you still here?! Hahaha ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE ! :)

Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah HEY!

2010-07-26T20:48:00.002+08:00

YEAH!!! I'm out of Facebook!!!!

Cool or what!

"When 2 become 1 ..."

2010-06-13T22:25:00.002+08:00

Undergarments are really personal to me. I don't loan it out. But it could walk.

L O L.

Just some random (but serious) thoughts.

"Hysteric.. Hysteric .."

2010-05-15T15:15:00.002+08:00

Good afternoon everyone ... Yeah, I should be out today .. It's a Saturday ... But my baby is playing soccer with his friends .. I'm so happy for him... Re-connecting with his friends (except The Crap Gal) after so long ..... That's the way!

That's all, goodbye!

"Gorgeous chick, chick inside. DJ jam tonight.."

2010-05-08T10:01:00.001+08:00

Can you believe it? Even on a Saturday, the stds will call me.. Hahah, so funny. All because of a fridge. Hopefully, the students' grouses will subside by today.

I'm so irritated by so many things today...to the extent of losing my appetite, to the extent of hating everyone in the world ... to the extent of so many things. I just want everything to be fair. Why can't everyone exercise fairness? Aiyoh .........

And I think the first step to gaining trust is to evaluate who you really are and whether you are true to yourself. If you are not even true to yourself, then how could you be true to other people and gain that trust? This is just my personal opinion. I don't fancy encouraging conversations and what nots.. simply because the person should be able to think for themselves on what should or should not be done. The person is no longer a toddler, a primary sch kid, a sec kid .. etc. but a young adult who is very smart.

Hopefully, whatever the people and myself have said goes right into the brain and not out of the ears. And yeah, it was the last time I would like to say such things.

On a lighter note, this month is a special month .. it's someone's birthday next week. Actually, there's so many other people that I know who celebrate their birthday on the same day. More details disclosed after the birthday that is.

I've got to go now .. the kitty is waiting politely for me to give her a pat .... so cute.

"Don't stop .. can't stop ..."

2010-05-02T14:14:00.001+08:00

Shedding crocodile tears again. The same encouraging conversation today. The same attitude you gave.

Sick sick sick sick of all this shit shit shit
When will you stop it
Now you are shedding crocodile tears again
Now you can't turn back time
Face it
This is reality
Own up
And pump your energy
For something good
For something good
You're out of this league
Don't waste my time

"Don't act like you don't care .... "

2010-05-01T17:23:00.001+08:00

Goodbye April and Hello May! Hehehe. Yeah, May is here ... expected nothing interesting, exciting, depressing, bombastic to happen on the first day of May. But some things just have to happen today.

I wanna reassure this person that everything's gonna be okay, everything will be pieced together one day ... but I'm tired of doing that so many times. I'm tired of seeing the same old drama, the tears, the encouraging conversation .. just everything. I wonder how this 2 persons can bear this shit.

To you,

Everything will not be okay. Everything will not piece together nicely. Everything will not be the same as what it used to be. You've lost the trust and the credibility. THIS IS THE REALITY.

So get a real chair, reflect and do something about it. Earn the trust through honesty. Earn the respect you should be getting through your actions and attitude. You've got to earn it to have it. I really hope this shit will never happen again.

You know .. I know .. we know ... that whatever comes around, goes around.

"I don't need a parachute ..."

2010-04-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

What a hectic week ... drained ... exhausted .. busy ... all the time. And some "high class" people seriously are getting on my nerves. Ugh, full of disgust and totally lost my respect for them. But whatever it is, you'll be out after you are done with the program. All my colleagues were telling me to count down those days .. haha .. no need for all that. Cos time will pass very very fast especially for disgusting people like them.

And in the evening today, I had a mini scare on some of the stuff keyed in. I thought I have keyed in the wrong year. But all's well now (I think) ..

I'm so tired .. and I wanna sleep now.

Gdnite.

"Hello.. Hello.. Hello Hello Hello .. "

2010-04-04T14:30:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night was freaking awesome (though we lost with injustice)! The people at Cafe Bar was extremely spontaneous (at least there's Philip and some people at the back of the cafe cheering) and I'm glad Saiful & I were not feeling awkward or anything. We cheered so freaking loudly and got the couple beside me cheering too. YES, this is the way to support our favourite soccer club, MANCHESTER UNITED.

Though the referee is crap (he freaking dismissed the penalty/free kicks when our beloved Man Utd players fell within the area TWICE) and my dad insisted that Macheda hand-balled the goal (he's feeling sore? maybe, but Arsenal won man), I still believe that we deserve so much better and I love yesterday's atmosphere. I will go back to that cafe .. provided the matches are worth to watch. I mean .. there are some matches that we, Man Utd supporters know that we will win hands down and we will want to watch it at home, in front of other family members (who prolly supported other clubs) and scream and boast as much as we want at every goal or hat trick or corners or whatever that Man Utd players are involved in.

I'm talking crap about the boasting thingy - we Manchester United fans will not boast and will not gripe if we win/lose, cos we are all winners after all (ok, at least I want to think THAT way).

On top of the frustration when Berbatov did not score and always missed (but the fans still love him), Saiful received a call from a foreign number. Yeah, you guessed it right (like this is NOT the first time come on. No prizes) - the DB decided to call upon Saiful and asked what he was doing. Yes people, she loved him too much and decided to check on him randomly. He told me the background was quiet and prolly she's at home or something. And Saiful (being the best boyfriend ever), told her that he's busy and would call her back later. Thereafter, he deleted her number. I didn't know who was talking to initially ... I thought it was his sister asking where we were and would probably joined us for a "pint" or two.

But no, it was hallelujah for the DB. I don't know wth she wants us from him. A listening ear (you got Cornie or other galpals I'm very sure) ? A shoulder to cry on (come on, electrocute yourself and I'm sure your boyfriend Henry will appear in front of you) ? Hahaha. I really don't know this time. I was pissed .. at first. But after a while (thanks to the cheery atmosphere), I sort of cooled down and watch the match instead. Yeah .. something along that line happened.

I'm sick of this baby gal who loves to disturb him. I mean she has her boyfriend to take care of her right? She just love to do this ...

Sigh, should I let her boyfriend know? Email? Facebook? Hahaha ... I'm just kidding. I won't do that. I mean ... we can always talked about it ... personally. That'll be so so great man! That thought ... it's tempting.

Ha ha ha. Ok, I'm gonna watch T-ara's "I'm Really Hurt" MV (for the tenth time now)! I really love them ... they are great.. they are versatile .. they are T-ARA!

Love kpop. Love Manchester United. Love yourself.

Get lost now.

"Baby .. baby ... baby ... "

2010-04-03T14:13:00.001+08:00

Justin Bieber's song stucked in my head! T-ara's I'm Really Hurt is hurting me badly that I craved for it more! Man Utd vs Chelsea tonight , watch it at their cafe tonight!

Anyway, I'm irritated by my inability to make decisions quickly.
I really hope I can make improve on my decision-making skills.
GO ever asked me why I take so long to make my decisions.
She asked me whether I have a template that I used in my mind.
Obviously, there is.
I just don't want to make the wrong decisions.
But not all the times am I this way.
Sometimes, I will go ahead and do whatever I want.
Applies to special cases only.
When I make decisions, I tend to weigh the pros and cons way too long.
E.g if I watch a movie tmr, wouldn't he have little freedom/rest for himself before he book in?
And I will think about this for at least 1-2 days.
Yes, you've seen it right.
It's 1 - 2 days.
Hmmmm, I really don't know what to say.
What shall I do today?
I really don't know.
I feel like k-box-ing today.
But it's quite costly on the weekends.
I feel like jogging.
But it's gonna rain.
Gym's far away from my home.
Ok, it's only 1 stop .. but this meant that I have to brave the stormy weather?
I feel like sleeping.
But I'm going out soon and I have to get ready in ... 2 minutes?
I feel like eating.
But there's not much to eat.
Mum's delicious lontong has been swarmed by so many people yesterday I guess.
I feel like eating ban mian.
But there's no Halal ban mian in town.
I feel like bowling.
But I don't think he wants to do that.
We just bowled last week if I'm not wrong.
It's called Rush Bowl.

I feel
I feel
I feel

..
..
..

I have to get going.
No more "I feel" anymore.
Whatever I felt, it doesn't really matter anymore now.

Adios.

"Weteoriya.. weteoriya..."

2010-03-21T14:21:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone!

Finally, I'm back .. after quite a while. Anyway a no. of happy things I will like to share with you ... :

(a) I bought my lappie FINALLY!
(b) Bought my portable drive! Yeah, I can finally store all my photos, documents etc in my VERY OWN portable drive.
(c) I've moved office .. and I am enjoying it (minus the fact that the VIP always walk past my desk).

I am so happy!

And the Malay wedding kompang near my house is so nice! I love the spontaneous atmosphere!

"Again and again and again and again .... "

2010-02-18T19:53:00.001+08:00

Good evening everyone.

After-office hours and I am still here.. Because I had to send out SMS, answer some emails, update website, check attendance lists, print out posters, lock the rooms, check housekeeping, check room names amendments and etc etc. I can go on and on and on and will never be able to finish on time..

Maybe I am inefficient? Maybe I am working too hard? I don't know either.. Only the bosses can tell me. Or the people observing me.

Anyway, have been juggling 2 major tasks for the past months. Enjoy being busy, but loathe the looming deadlines. Check and re-check and re-check and re-check till you go cross-eyed.

The next day, when I come back to work, I'll come back cross-eyed too. Sometimes, some stds or colleagues could be just plain rude to leave things on my desk without any head or tail.. Always expecting me to "find out" myself.. Like this is some treasure hunt.

I got mad last week when some colleagues snapped at me. Though I know it was my fault for slipping such important matters from my mind and not informing them accordingly, I too have reasons to why I didn't inform them asap.

I know you are teaching and busy and all of that, but so am I. Though I am not teaching, but taking care of some operational issues is enough to consume so much time.. Hmm, they'll never understand. They'll say they understand but they never do.. Only 1 person did and I would like to thank her for listening to my rants all this while. Appreciate it :)

My lunch buddies are the best. I can never stop laughing when Mr. SpongeBob talk about something. It's always something funny. I'm glad they are around.. and we are sad that our favourite cute lunch buddy is leaving us soon. Take care Ms Cutie and don't forget me ok.

I'm so random nowadays ... and I can feel my vein beating at the left side of my forehead.

Bleargh.

"Listen baby I'm sorry.. wanna tell you don't worry.."

2010-01-29T18:55:00.001+08:00

I love how my workstation is now. More neater.. especially the stationery corner. Ha ha. My colleagues + some stds have been telling me that there are no differences made to my workstation. I told them the previous setting. But they told me that it looks the same now.

Well.. human nature. A good shift and they won't see it. But if they saw my desk filled with piles of files, mountain-high folders, stationery strewn all over, they WILL see it.

I'll be shifting to a new office soon. I hope I'll like it.. I will miss my current pantry, the photocopier machine behind me, the silence + freedom to talk as loud as I want, to see the boss's very cute son, gossip + vent anger (sometimes) with dear colleague beside me (he he he)... and endless pretty wonderful things.

Ha ha, call me crazy but I love my office so much. But I can't help it. No one can stay at that same position for a long time. Though my love for my current office is way beyond any body's imagination (ha ha ha), I am still looking forward to the office at Level 1.They told me it's more lively there....

But of course.. with people like Mr Hardworking, Mr Joker, Ms Pretty Mummy, Ms Polite and Sweet Auditor.. and of course Ms Boss! He he. I hope things will be fine once I moved.

I hope the nicks that I gave them above won't change to something ridiculously bad after some time.. Hope it'll stay.

Anyway, I don't feel like going home now.. or collect my kana sai phone. @ Home, there's no one (I think) and I don't have dinner. But if I stay in office, it'll be so boring.. cos it's past 5.30 pm (my knock-off time BTW) cos my brain cells expired already ( @ 5.30 pm that is).

To go home or not to go home?

Well, go home of course. Cos' I just remembered something - I don't wanna be stared by some security guard who suddenly walked past my office and stared at me for a long time yesterday. Do I look like a criminal? Wth...

Have an excellent weekend.

No need subject. You know this is not a nice post.

2010-01-26T19:54:00.001+08:00

I'm so pissed off!

My phone died on me. I lost ALL my contacts. Got scolded for being angry (wth).

But what really pissed me off to the core is..

(1) Someone blamed me for something I didn't do. (2) Blamed me again in front of my colleague.

I almost lost my cool just now. But because you are one of the prospects, I shall leave you as it is. I won't go to the extent of stooping so low to your level and accused you of not stating the clear terms. So pissed off.. Argh! I won't curse.. but what comes around goes around.

"Cos everytime we touch.."

2010-01-16T22:21:00.001+08:00

Happy 2010 to all.

Another deployment? KNN!

Taiwan again? To hell with that!

I'm frustrated, just leave me alone.

I wanna eat double prosperity burger with a large portion of twister fries and coke.

I don't like the smirk on her face everytime I pop by that office.

I will never forget how much help she has rendered to me.

I am not sarcastic la.

Why isn't there any lights on the keyboard?

This laptop hangs every 10 seconds.

It sucks to think that the next 2 months will be pretty bad for me.

And he'll not be around most of the time within these 2 months.

Serves me right for taking things for granted.

I'm trying hard to think happy thoughts.

I'm gonna be sick soon.

Headache, cough and probably leading to that sickness again.

I am excited for the event, but not really on the preparations.

I really can't stop thinking about the burger and fries.

Fish and chips.

Mee kuah.

Argh, food.

Get out of this mentality.

I love typing whatever is on my mind.

Random thoughts.

Random post.

Just random.

My baby told me a funny story.

I love him.

He loves me.. That's what he said.

I believe him.

Why is he so freaking nice to me?

I am the worst gf on Earth.

I chose to believe in that.

I'm gonna stop typing.

Laptop been a freaking knn idiot.

I am seriously ungrateful.

Goodbye.

"Ttonajima ma ma ma ma...."

2009-12-28T19:19:00.001+08:00

Finally, I can have my well-deserved break! Yes ah!

But when it comes to time like this, I always feel so worried leaving my work in nobody's care.. I wanted to ensure everything runs smoothly without my absence. But then again, like what my dear colleague mentioned, nobody is indispensable. Hopefully, things will run smoothly and I hope all the work/follow up are ok.

I've been quite forgetfull nowadays and I have told NG about the matter. She said I'm too stressed out. But, I don't feel stressed at all. Maybe I worked way too hard.

I find it weird that I can commit like crazy now, when I die-die couldn't do it when I was still schooling. Projects with the group always make me feel so restless.. as though my mind is begging me to stop studying. But working here is totally different. I know it's time to go home, but I just feel the need to stay now.. See? Crazy.. Last time, I was always late for project meetings. This time, to hell with this attitude! Hahaha.

Oh yes, I need to note this to every single soul out there that I dislike betrayers (well nobody does like them) and stay away from me if you are one big fake. Faking your smile is ok cos sometimes you have to. But faking your life is not okay cos sooner or later, people will find the true you.

And yes, I've already found out. No matter how deep you bury that dirty little secret.

"I want nobody nobody but you.."

2009-12-12T21:03:00.001+08:00

The conversation made me realize how much I've missed out on my life. This is what happens when your life revolves around work only.. So disappointing and upsetting to hear all these issues.. What happened to the innocent and smart ass person I know all my life? Gone within 2 years.. or maybe lesser than that. Just praying hard that God and the Blessed Souls protect us from any harm.

But what's enlightening is that my soon-to-be niece/nephew will be here in 4 months and I'm really glad that I get to have a proper outing/convo with the elder sis.. Been a long time....

Handsome BF coming back tonight.. Yes yes yes! May you have a safe journey and get well soon ok. :)

"Let's have some fun.. this beat is sick."

2009-12-10T17:25:00.001+08:00

I can sense that some are upset with me. But what can I do? If you give a customer half-boiled egg, instead of the requested fried sunny side up, then I have to point that out and make amendments. I don't think I am harsh today. Neither will I be in future, after what happened before.

And some said that they can accept any rounds they are posted to, just because they've been through this so-called very-very-harsh round. What could be harsher than the real working world.. seriously..

If you take everything pessimistically, then wouldn't life be miserable? Why don't you look from another angle and take these challenges positively? I know it's hard to take these challenges positively.. But can we just TRY?

Even if we failed, you could tell others you've tried and you've NEVER GIVEN UP. But of course when I said "try", I also meant that you must be willing to take our advices and do your best to make the amendments, and not moving on to try continue to make the "wrong amendments".

I can understand how you guys felt but I've been there..done that! So never give up, do your best and stay optimistic. I was wondering.. what could be harsher than my situation back then when I was posted to the same centre for both rounds.. What's more, my first round was the 14-weeks outlet.. Which I truly believe that have learnt a lot and gain many experiences. And yeah, at the end of the day, I scored.

I'm telling you that I scored not because I want the whole world to know that I'm great or smart etc. I've scored.. due to my "hard work, determination, perseverance through trying times, optimistic and yes.. hardworking". And these words were not from me. It's from one of the managers who took care of that outlet before.

Well, another week to go.. So do your best.. And you'll say your happy goodbye to be out of your so-called misery.

"We were always meant to say goodbye.."

2009-12-04T20:11:00.001+08:00

It's a sad truth that we have to remain our distance as what we are.. Hm, difficult to maintain as friends. I'm not talking about any relationships with any boys (alert to my dearest who might be reading this) but about my work/job scope.

Some are great to be friends but you just can't step over that limit. It's an unseen limit. You can't cross over that line because if you do, you might have just jeopardize your situation/position.

Today, I was talking to my colleague about this and she mentioned that some people can be friends but not colleagues, and some could be the otherwise. To a certain extent, I agree because it applies to certain positions. As leaders, you need to maintain your authority and you definitely can't be friends with everybody. You can't make everyone happy. Even if you consider them as friends, they won't consider you as one simply because you don't satisfy them. They might just be your sincere and die hard backstabbers.

But to a certain extent, I disagree because I've seen people being friends with their colleagues. They can go karaoke, shopping, trekking etc. Hm, I've no idea why they can be that way.. Maybe it's just the chemistry?

Anyway, I'm @ work now and will be logging off soon. I'm writing the above because people have been talking about it for the longest time and I just wanna penned my thoughts.

Enjoy your weekends.

"Take a breath.."

2009-11-27T21:07:00.001+08:00

I really hate seeing my loved one go.. I really really really really hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it.

"We're the crowd.."

2009-09-15T20:57:00.001+08:00

Tonight shall be the night. THE night. Another angry post? You decide..

I'm not a backup plan. I am NOT a backup plan. I am NEVER a backup plan. I shall never be a backup plan. What's a backup plan? Backup plan is a contingency plan when things just .. don't happen the way you want it to.

My initial plan was to buy the festive clothes. I told myself yesterday,"Tmr night shall be THE night that I'll get those festive clothes. By hook or by crook, my hands shall reach them.." Well, I said something like that.. But unfortunate things have to happen tonight.

Like backup plans. When some things cannot happen, they contact me. For what? For me to be there.. "to fill those seats". To fill those "paid for" seats cos other people could not make it or things.. just didn't happen (due to bad planning I guess). And when I reject, it seemed as though I offended people.. But I'm true to them, to myself, to everybody.

Where did I go wrong? How did I go wrong? When did I go wrong? Why did I go wrong? What did I do which got everything so wrong?

The reasons to why I reject.. did I explain them carefully? Yes I did explain them all.. Flatly, concisely. Oh, maybe "flatly" is not the right way to explain those reasons. But I did explain them "concisely". But those reasons were seen as lies.. If you take it as lies, then how should I convince you?

I don't know whether you understand the above.. Maybe I'm too sensitive.. Maybe I'm too domineering.. Maybe I'm this.. Maybe I'm that..

Maybe.. I'm your backup plan. But not tonight.. Not tomorrow. Not the day after. Not next month. Not next year. Not next minute. Not next second.. No no no. I'm NEVER your backup plan.

You need someone? Go find the recruitment agencies please.

"1 little 2 little 3 little..."

2009-09-02T09:46:00.000+08:00

Good morning! Am @ work now.. Damn.. Having stomach ache now, but still have to go through my 15 tasks by today. The BB is going away next week. So by hook or by crook, I need to finish up by today/this week!

Jia yoh!

"Can't read my.. can't read my.. no he can't read my...."

2009-06-27T12:20:00.001+08:00

Seriously, the timing couldn't have come any better.

I really hate it!

"As we go on, we'll remember all the times we had together.."

2009-06-12T20:30:00.000+08:00

Hi All,

Some news to share:

(1) My dearest darling is coming back tonight! Yes, sing along please - "Let us celebrate this moment.. A brand new day awaits.."

(2) The group 1 batch left already - thank you ladies and not-so-gentleman (hehehe) for your hard work. Appreciate all the efforts! "As we go on, we'll remember.. All the times we had together." - will remember Vit C's song as a theme song for your batch!

(3) Work's been.. piling up. And it will not stop/delay anytime soon I predict. Time to change feng shui.

(4) Cases of H1N1 have been rising like the rice on my plate (wth). So this will call for continuity plan to be activated anytime.

(5) Many ints nowadays and I don't understand how school leavers think now. Economic recession is very bad and you still want to play games with the job market?

(6) New batch coming in - let's cross fingers and hopefully they are good, of course!

(7) Many things on hand - which should come first?

(8) My work station is messy and I totally hate it.

(9) Somebody actually drank a cup of coffee, washed it, and gave it to me as proof that he went for some event. Eeeeewww!

(10) My dearest best friend is going to Boston soon!!!!!!!!!! Why do 1 have to come back, only to have the other to go! ;(

(11) ..... I am still at work .. At this ungodly hour ..... "_______"

"Let the memory live again.."

2009-05-30T14:05:00.001+08:00

The first weekend that I spend my time without him after a long time. Sigh, if only he's here.. We would have already met at BB and head to town/MS to watch a movie or eat. Later at night, we would spend our time window-shopping or spend our time at the usual place for a few hours. We would tease one another endlessly and prolly an argument or two would arise.. But all would be well again.. When it's late, we would take the cab home and he would see me to my doorstep before he leaves home..

Once he reaches home, he would text or call me.. Somehow, we would have drifted off to sleep together. When he woke up on Sunday morning, he would call me with that classic sexy voice.. I miss that so much!! And we would plan our evening together that day. When we meet in the evening, we would have some light snacks or head to Comics Connection to buy the cards.. Once the clock strikes 8.40 pm, we would queue or sat at the 61 area. The bus arrived and we boarded the bus, sitting at the very last row. We would hug one another very tightly till it reaches that stop. When the bus halted to that stop, he would kiss my hand and I would bid him goodbye, till the bus is out of sight.

When he reaches camp, he would call or text me. He would definitely never fail to whisper all the sweetness to me. And we drifted off to sleep..

Sigh.. I would be reminiscing and reminiscing for the next two weeks or so. So bear with me and my emotional conditions..

To my dearest darling, thank you for all the great efforts that you've put in for the past years. I appreciate all the gestures, the gifts, the limitless TLC - everything that you've done for me, for us, for this relationship.. May Allah bless you with all the physical, mental and spritual strength to overcome all the obstacles you'll face.. Though I am not physically there, you know that I am ALWAYS here for you. I'm missing you so badly.. :'(

Am looking forward to your next call (hopefully, today..) and am eagerly waiting for your return.. Happy 53rd darling..

Insert your own subject.

2009-05-28T04:25:00.001+08:00

1) In a few hours time, my darling will be leaving for Taiwan. Damn... Does it have to be this period? ;'( But of course, I know this trip is appointed by the officers. Beeeeee, please take care of yourself ok. I will always be here for you bee bee. ;)

2) The elder sis got married last Sunday. Congratulations Sis & Bro in-law for overcoming all the obstacles during the period that you were together. We all love you all and may Allah bless you with all the happiness, great health and prosperity. ;)

3) I turned a year older on Monday. And how did I spend that day? Standing at the backstage, running errands, meeting my darling, eating and crying.. Hahaha.. So interesting. I really had fun on that day... Thank you to all my friends,my darling, my family and my stds for the birthday wishes!!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!

4) I am on long break this week - 2 days leave from Wed - Thurs and off in-lieu on Friday.. Need the break - I've been working like mad without rest non-stop.. Damn... I treasure this break!!!!!!!

5) Man Utd Vs Barcelona now on ESPN. Barcelona scored 2 - by Samuel Eto'O (is that how it's spelt? dun give a damn!!! hehehe.) and Messi.. :'(

6) Am addicted to Cooking Mama and Guitar Hero .. using the beloved gadget that my beloved darling presented to me on my bday! Thank you darling.... ;)

7) Feel like karaoke-ing at CashBox. And then go shopping..... GSS!!

8) I don't feel like eating nowadays and my mood swings like crazy.. Somebody,bring me out for retail therapy..

9) Seeing my parents' reactions when they saw the tix made me very happy. I'm glad the efforts paid off.... Enjoy your concert, dear parents... ;)

10) Ok, gotta concentrate on match now.............

"Don't cha..."

2009-05-20T10:26:00.001+08:00

Can't believe PCD is coming to Singapore & NOBODY told me. Sigh, have to miss this chance yet AGAIN!

And work's been piling up (as usual). And you can talk about leave in December.

The beginning of a major random story of the day.

2009-04-29T12:37:00.001+08:00

What the f..ishmonger! You know what? All my colleagues are scared of me... Ok, not all. That's so exaggerating. But MOST of them are scared of me. Nah, I'm not feeling superior to this.

They are scared of me.. because I'm down with cold! So yeah, they thought I'm infected with damn swine flu. Hey, I haven't been anywhere outside Singapore ok.. And this colleague told me," Hey, go see a doctor. It'll infect others you know.... bla.. bla.. bla.." At first thought, I felt touched by the concerns.. But when she proceeded to talk about the bloody swine flu (it is bloody on second thoughts - killed so many people), that's it - I cut her off immediately! I told her I've been to the doctor and will be seeing him again tmr afternoon. Damn.....

What the fishmonger.. I like that phrase and I used it so many times today. When I was doing my work and my desktop suddenly went blank, I exclaimed, " What the ffffff..." And the boss looked at me and I proceeded,"..ffff..iissshmonger.." And he went inside his office immediately.. He was waiting for me to say the f-word. Hello, I'm in the office. I'm not at home, or in the public where I can say the f-word freely (Hehehe. Don't tell my mother.) . Of course I know how to behave when I'm in the office. I'm a professional, remember? RIGHT.

And when stds gave wrong info to me, I exclaimed again,"What the fffff...." And they stared at me! And I continued, "..ffff...iissshmonger.." Hahahahaha! The look on their faces...priceless! I told them, "Wow, you all got so worked up when I saw ffff!! What were you thinking.."

And when my colleague was talking to me on the phone, my phone beeped so damn loud (a case of slow dementia infecting me - I forgot to turn on the silent mode la dey!). And I said, " What the fff...ishmonger." She was giggling like crazy.

What the ffff...

ishmonger.

The end of my major random story of the day.

"There was no ransom to be paid....."

2009-04-18T01:37:00.003+08:00

It's truly an inspirational video! You should watch it. And what am I exactly referring to? None other than what most or if not, ALL, British are talking about today! Susan Boyle and Paul Potts from the talent show - singing sensations for Year 2009. You won't believe it Susan & Paul, but you've got support from me.. all the way from Singapore!

Anyway, life was not so great yesterday. And hopefully on the coming Monday, life would be fantastic! I shouldn't be hoping actually.. I AM CONFIDENT THAT LIFE WILL BE FANTASTIC on Monday and the day after, and the day after, and the - ok, you get the drift.

For as long as I don't make a blunder/fool in front of colleagues and stds, life will definitely be fantastic. May all the obstacles be cleared off from my pathway and may Allah bless me with great gifts upon my journey.

Wish me all the best!

P.S: Observations for this particular lady - who rolled her eyes when I talked to her, have never paid attention to whatever I'm saying and mumbled to herself when she asked some questions. How could I also forget the distinct pop-ups from her face (in which I think she should have gotten some mud on Monday to cover those "things" on her face)..

Kids nowadays...

"Jai ho...."

2009-03-23T18:44:00.001+08:00

I'm waiting for Pussycat Dolls to come to Singapore so that I can sing "Jai Ho"!

And suddenly I saw "Microsoft Navision" at the side of the email. You know what this means? I'm reminded of the past boss! Damn damn damn! ;p

"You go back to her.. And I go back to... black."

2009-02-26T14:17:00.001+08:00

What irks me is that they've planned to organize the event on that day, which I'm planning to go to Msia for some preparations. Haiya!But thinking about it, I wanted to go for the event (come on la, have to network!) but some people are not so sporting! In the end, only me and her are going for the event.

And I don't think it's possible because both of us can't drive. We need someone who is willing to participate and can drive (& of course knowing your directions is also very important. We don't want to risk settling in a forest by the end of the event.).

So the question is ... Should I or shouldn't I? Hmmm. Anyway, yet again, why did they choose this event? It's pretty bias. I don't drive and many others don't too. So why did you even choose this theme? Hmmm.

Oklah, think I need more thinking and planning and contemplating and.. yeah, sleep.

"Take me away.."

2009-01-30T22:58:00.001+08:00

Case 1: URGENT & ALERT - Inconsiderate People Are Hanging Out Right Under Your Nose. Wipe them out TODAY!

Situation A: In the morning, there was this lady who sat beside me in the MRT. She was fan-ning herself so vigorously that it almost hit my face! I tried to bear with it for the first 3 almost-hits but then I decided to tell her off nicely, or so I thought. With a serious look (I think it was more of a I-want-to-eat-you-up look), I said, "Do you mind if you could stop using that to fan yourself? Cos' it almost hit my face." And she looked at me, aghast, and said,"Okay can." And she stopped doing that immediately.

Situation B: And in the evening, I met Mum and Sis 2 at the void deck, with heavy groceries and were waiting for the lift. There was also this lady who stood there and waited. After a few seconds, the lift "arrived". That lady walked right inside and did not even bother to help us hold the lift! She could even spend 10 seconds of her life staring us moving the groceries. And my Mum had to rush in to hold the lift before it closed. I was helping my sister moved the things quickly and I was so annoyed at that lady (who were dressed so professionally but definitely has NO courtesy) that I said angrily and loudly,"Wow, that was very UN-helpful." With that, I looked at her sharply and just shooked my head.

Conclusion: Why do they have to be this inconsiderate and disrespectful when we have all this campaigns about being kind whatsoever, all over the place (and has been going on for YEARS)? Sigh.

Recommendation: I think the campaign should be focused on my estate area. Ok, more specifically my block! There's another lady who was an exact replica of the lady in Situation B. This particular lady quickly and continuously pressed the "CLOSE" button when she saw me walking quickly towards the lift. I was only 10 cm away from the lift and she did that (in front of her children too. My goodness! Her children would grow up to be like her. RUDE kids!).

And that lady ALWAYS do that when she saw any of the neighbours walking quickly towards the lift. I wonder why... Maybe she needs some "private space" in the lift to scratch her butt, dig her nose, check her underwear, smell her armpit... Haha!

Other Comments: Damn these people to the core. I have similar posts in the past. If you have the time, please feel free to browse ALL of my posts cos' I can't remember what the title was. Hahaha.

Special Case 2: To My Special One, With Love

To my Special One, my family and I would like to extend my deepest condolences to you and your family for the loss of a great humble uncle. May Allah bless him in the nether world and rest assured, our prayers will be with him.

Do call and/or text me if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to etc etc. I will ALWAYS be here for you. I promise.

"Standing in the light of your halo.."

2009-01-29T11:50:00.001+08:00

It may seem like I was way too furious. But fact is.. I wasn't. I was (and probably still am) very confused about the whole situation.

Ahh.. After so much thinking and talking and consulting (and in turn, confusing myself 1,000,000 times more and what's worst, you still don't get it), it's best that that I keep my mouth shut, turn a deaf ear and pretend to be blind to this.

I will love to set the records straight personally and to end the matter once and for all. But you know, I did my part already.

Today, let me declare that we shall be free to be friends (or best friends or enemies) with anybody and we shall not be an obstruction to one another.

You want to make more friends (esp. best friends), you do not want to be bounded, I will give you all the freedom in the world.

So lo and behold, you are free to choose.

You can continue to sit back, relax and enjoy the continuos pesters from a best friend.

**Sorry readers and to all my loved ones, appreciate if you do not comment on this post. Thank you. ;)

"Are you feeling so left out..."

2009-01-19T15:10:00.001+08:00

To ShiT,

It's been a while since we met. I really hope we could meet up soon. I terribly miss you.

I really miss the way you look at me at the lab when we first met. The way your eyes avoided me when you are so guilty. The way you tried so hard to concentrate on your phone when you terribly can't because you sat beside me. The way you tried to give your best dimpled smile when it's always so fake. So beautiful are those moments.

Can we talk over coffee? I hope we could do so sometime... this weekend. Then I could bring my boyfriend along too. Oh, you know who my boyfriend is right. You don't know? Hmmm, he's the one you've been calling quite frequently when you were bored or need someone to console you.. about your non-existant ex-boyfriend.

What shall we talk about? How about.... your circle of friends? Oh no, that's so boring. I mean.. come on! What's there to say about you & your circle of friends.. Let me count.. 1 2 ...! Oh, you've only got 2 friends? Awwww. I can't believe you're that traditional woman who confined herself in a cell and bounded by 3 friends only. It's okay S h i T, we understand how shitty life has been for you.

It's really hard trying to be yourself right? Well, that's ok. At least, you do have a "counsellor" that you can ALWAYS count on, which I personally feel that it's pretty useless. Cos' it doesn't knock some sense into your brain.

Track back to the topic: What shall we talk about this weekend? I think it's best if we could talk about you. I'm always interested to know more about your life, your vision, your mission.. And of course your hobby (ies). I know that you loved counselling, or rather "being counselled" . It must be really tough on you. One pretty young lady who unfortunately lacked the social talents. No wonder your non-existant boyfriend left you.

Ok ok, what else shall we talk about now? Hmm.. How about your secret techniques to pester someone successfully? Oh come on. Don't be shy! Remember the times when you called someone for counselling or when you're bored and kept on pestering like a pest? I'm sure you've loads to share.

What else what else? Oh, how about... conducting a "How to Be Clingy?" session just for me! Interesting! I'll pay to go for this session by you man! No, definitely NOT gonna turn one like you. But it's interesting to find out how a ShiTty person like you can be clingy.

So that's it. I'll meet you at Bishan MRT on whichever day & time you're free and we could have one long ShiTty session together.

Don't worry, your counsellor will be there to console you. In fact, I will console you too. Because one counsellor is definitely not enough. You need someone like me to knock some facts into your head.. and to bravely tell you that ...

YOU HAVE TO GET A REAL CHAIR.

"What time is it? It's "Tiger" time.."

2009-01-17T17:28:00.002+08:00

Quiet, windy surrounding.. Ahh... This is what I've been waiting for. My head is clear from all the nonsense & I'm able to write freely once again!

Have been working too hard for the past weeks. What with the sessions, dance, my admin, students.. Never-ending work. But, I still love my job. I enjoy doing all those though it turned me blue at some point of time. Hehehe.

I hope things will go smoothly for me this year. I pray hard to be blessed with ever lasting happiness, prosperity & security for me, my family & my country. Yeah, I really appreciate being in Singapore after looking at the despairing Gaza.. It's really hard to hold back your tears if you saw the photos of the bodies of the innocent children.

Let's pray for a miracle to happen for all this nonsense to stop.

"La La La La La Bam Ba...!"

2008-12-30T09:27:00.001+08:00

Hi All,

In a few hours times, I will be celebrating yet another year with my darling.

So, without further ado (as per past practice, hehehe), I will be dedicating this post to him.

So sit back, relax &.... DON'T LAUGH. ;p

To My One & Only, this is for you. A song called... "Saiful Strong!" ;)

It's been 4 years

Since we've been together.

How time flies.

We've passed another year!

It feels like I'm still 16.

Back in secondary school..

Watching you like a country bumpkin.

And tryin' so hard to be cool.

Then you came up to me.

And we're chatting away.

It feels like a dream.

Oh, I felt so... gay!

And then that O'levels came!

So we stopped chatting.

That was so lame..

And I tell you, I couldn't stop thinking..

Soon O'levels ended!

We were so overjoyed.

But something was missing..

I don't know why..

And then you stood right there.

In front of me.

You showed your care

And then you asked...whether I wanted to go to that party!

"Of course!"

I said.

My heart was racing..

"Yaaaay!This is amazing!"

And that night came.

When you asked me that question.

I don't know what to answer.

Pardon me, I've never taken any lesson!

I said yes.

So abashedly!

Till today we're here..

Holding on to one another so strongly!

All I can say now..

Is that I'm very grateful.

Oh Saiful,

What can I do without you!

I love you..

Whole-heartedly!

Though there are times when you were..

A bit cranky..!

Hahaha!

That sounds so wrong.

This is suppose to be

A much-filled-love song!

Ok, this is getting..

A bit too loooong.

I shall stop here.

But before that, let me say.... "I love you, Saiful Strong!"

"Oh yeah I'll tell you something.. I think you'll understand.."

2008-12-26T22:36:00.001+08:00

Don't ask me what this post is all about.

Simply because there's nothing more to clarify/explain....... I've already said my piece.

I hope not to go back but I need time to try to forget all this.

Best Friends a.k.a Besties, maybe, this is the time I need your hugs & assurance that everything will be ok.

Cos' that's what Best Friends are for. Hahaha, speaking like a true blue philanthropist..

RIGHT.

"It's insane.."

2008-12-22T12:17:00.001+08:00

It still lingers. The feeling is overwhelming. Not in a good way though.

I should be concentrating on my work now. But it jammed my brain today. It took up 100 % of my brain space & energy. I kept thinking about it.

You can't blame me for doing so.. The picture shows many stories. But only one picture remains there... The story is unbelievable.. but it may happen.

Is this a premonition? Should I be on guard now?

Let's... just wait & see.

"How did we get here..."

2008-12-05T12:31:00.002+08:00

Dear Baby Elephants 3

Thank you so much for your contributions to the unit. I hope you've learnt something new throughout your journey in this unit - be it in terms of the functions or forging strong bonds with one another. Either way, I hope you've brought back something new with you.

It's really nice & heartwarming to see some of you hugging during the session yesterday & wishing one another all the best though you've only known for a mere nine weeks. (And though you might be meeting one another again in the second round.)

Besides that, I know I've caused much distress & probably annoyed the hell out of you during this period. I hope you understand that it's part & parcel of my role/responsibility to supervise/guide you along this journey.

I wish you success in your future endevours & don't forget to put in your best in every single thing that you do (incl. shitting in the toilet, digging your nose, scratching butt - you get the drift, heheheh) & may God bless you with all the great things in the world.

I hope we will keep in touch & hope you'll treasure these bittersweet memories.

Best Regards,
Mother Elephant

"And that time...."

2008-12-01T15:39:00.001+08:00

Hi All,

I feel like jumping for joy, but as I stop & thought about all the efforts that me & the team has put in, I felt totally cheated.

Imagine being stressed for the past 4 weeks = 1 month about this particular thing, & all of a sudden it pops like a bubble & disappeared mysteriously!

Sigh, only He knows how much effort we put in.

On a lighter note, it's Nas's birthday today! So there you go, Happy 20th BUTTTEERRRR BIRRRRRTHDAY! Hehe. May He bless you with all the great things in the world. May you & him be blessed with all the happiness & prosperity. May you be blessed with cute bouncy babies soon. Hehehehe.

And since I may not blog sometime soon, I shall also wish Saharoar (hehehehe) a Happy 21st Birthday!!!! May He bless you with all the great things in the world too. You'll find your happiness soon & we will pray for the best for you! "One Two.. CHA CHA CHAAAAA!"

Ahhh, I miss my ALB & Besties already!!!!!

When's our next outing ALB?
When's our movie marathon Besties?

I'll be waiting for your replies!

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"Sometimes..."

2008-11-23T20:03:00.001+08:00

I feel like eating ice-cream, Shihlin, fried mars bars, Long John, McSpicy, ban mian, yong tau foo & anything fattening.

Because I'm so bored & I'm having a headache & this infection just won't go away. It's "moved" to my left arm.

On a happier note, I found my old disc which contains all my "oldies" song - Vindicated, Somewhere Only We Know, Come On (By Ben Jelen!!!!! I was crazy about this song in Sec 4 you know!!!!!!), Born to Try, Miss Independent, Estelle... etc etc etc.. These are all of my SEC 4 songs! And the more I listened to it, the more emo I became just because I really miss those days & my wonderful classmates. Argh, where the hell are all of you now????

Ok lah, my headache's getting worser now.. Bye.

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"1 2 3 4, Left Right Left...!"

2008-11-16T15:28:00.001+08:00

I really don't know what else I should blog about. The other day I wanted to blog about Obama's victory & I dropped the idea totally due to my lack of vocab (and partly because of lack of basic political knowledge. Haha.). And then I almost published a post about this person (I don't have anything against him/her, but the attitude makes me wanna puke blood!). But I deleted it immediately because... it's just a petty issue. And then I wanna talk about my outings (will simply bore you to the max), the relationship (i think it's posted way tooooo many times), my family photo that was taken during HR (argh, all I could ever think of was my stupid face..) & so much more. And that was why I didn't update for some time.

And I decided to blog now since this space's getting dusty. And I'm so damn bored to death.

Argh, what should I doooooo? BUMMERRRRRR.

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"Through the wire, to the limit, to the wall.."

2008-10-15T19:50:00.001+08:00

Hi All.

I haven't been updating for the longest time. YET AGAIN. Not because I was lazy but I was so busy with my work, family, my darling & other commitments.

I'll like to sincerely apologize to those readers who have been waiting for me to update this space. And to those who have been pestering me for pictures, please be extra patient with me because I've yet to upload them on the desktop.

Anyway, work has been ok. One semester has just passed in the blink of eye. And now, I've a new batch of students who just started their attachment on Monday. So, all's good now. Just need a bit of "touch up" since it's their first time.

To my Sem 1 batch, thank you very much for motivating me every day. Thank you for entertaining my nonsensical behavior. Thank you for providing me with all the loud laughters, mini heart attacks & best of all - by breaking the furniture & not letting me know about it!

Wish you all the best in your future endevours & keep in touch!

To my Sem 2 batch, please work hard. You can score if you have the will. Continue to do your best & never forget that I'm here to guide you!

So there you go. A short shout-out to my students who don't even know that I exist in this blogging world. Hahaha. But if you do find out about me, please keep your mouth SHUT! Let others unveil this mystery themselves. Tee hee!

Before I end this post, I will like to say that some elitists are depriving me of meeting my darling! They even put him through training though he's not well. What the...

Whatever it is, darling, remember that I'm always here for you & will cheer you on all the way ok! Put in your best in everything that you do. Success comes to those who work hard for it & put in their very best. So why are you still reading this? Go do some pull-ups now!

Till then, sayonara.

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"Inspired by affection."

2008-09-13T00:41:00.001+08:00

Can't believe that he will be leaving for that island in a few hours time.
And in a few hours time, I'll have to cope with everything by myself.

I'll miss the times when he'll text me "I'll wait for you at the bus stop ok."
And the affectionate impromptu SMS "I miss you".
And the "distress session" after work.
And the warm hugs which always soothe me everyday.
And the late night movies during the weekends.
And the karaoke sessions.
And the fun bowling "competition" we have occasionally.
And the cycling/roller-blading activities sometimes.
And the usual arguments and jokes.
And silly mistakes that we'll laugh at one another.
And "All my loving" song he'll sing while we're going home.
And the many times he send me home.
And the times when he came to my house to say "Hello" to Marsha.
And late night talks.
And endless political arguments we'll bombard one another.
And the times when he hold my face in his hands and tell me that everything's going to be alright.
And the shopping activities we'll have and all his pointers/guide to shop for the best.
And the times when he came to my house to visit my family.
And all the dinner dates we frequently have.
And the affectionate "Look at me in the eyes" moments.
And the moments I lie on his shoulders and hold his arm tightly.
And all the crappy "insulting & out-of-tune" sing along sessions.
And the times when we sat at anywhere to chill and "talk cock sing song".

And...
And...
And...
And...

I'm missing you terribly.
And You'll always be in my heart.
And You'll always be in my thoughts.
And You'll always be part of my life.
And You'll always be My One & Only.

And...

I love you.

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You can name this entry.

2008-08-31T01:32:00.004+08:00

I don't know what to update seriously. Lost my "artistic" skills to capture all the feelings into one post. All I want to do now is to sleep on it and probably post about a dream or two. And suddenly I miss Madinah and its great mosque and fantastic weather.

I am so touched..

2008-08-02T11:57:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I had a session with all the teams. They had to share their learning outcomes and what-have-yous during the 10 minute presentation..

The first team seems unprepared and in conflict. But they did quite well in delivering the processes. The second team dedicated a very very sweet poem to their supervisors. I think if their core supervisor was there, he would have shed a tear. The rest of the teams are sweet too - video dedications and short messages to their respective supervisors.

The last team to present is my team of course. The students actually did a short "composition" with a very sad song playing at the background. I almost drop dead when I listen to it. It's so sentimental and very touching.. If you were there, you would have sobbed so hard.

I almost did but I tried to make funny faces at them in order to stop the tear from flowing. One of them actually cried after the whole session ended. I think he's not the only one. Probably other students did the same too, just that I didn't see it.

To my lovely pioneer students:

The first time I stepped into your room to see all of you for the first time, I was pretty sceptical cos' I've heard quite a number of nightmare stories about students and what not. They said that there would be quite a number of problems dealing with teens and handling them altogether. They said I probably would have a heart attack every day. They said I would not be that appreciated after all.

But you all changed my attitude altogether. You erased away all those horrible notions. In fact, you motivate me to come to campus every day. To see your happy faces, laugh at every single smallest details and just enjoy my time interacting with you. I really appreciate all those moments we spent together and will treasure these memories forever.

Thank you for motivating me every single day, thank you for being such good,great pioneer batch of students, thank you for being there for one another, thank you for appreciating me.

I believe that all of you will grow up and learn to become excellent individuals. We don't only think of excelling in studies, but also excelling in other aspects of life - excel your role as a daughter/son, as a friend, as girlfriend/boyfriend, as a working adult in the future, etc. As yourself.

All the best in your future endevours and may He bless you with all the good luck. Will miss working with you!

Let's splurge one more time!

2008-07-27T18:28:00.002+08:00

26th/27th July 2008 was one of the best memories that I've ever had!

1. Makan at Sakura -One of my favourite eating places though it's pretty pricey. But what matters are the great food (Japanese food, satay, nuggets, pasta, ice cream, chocolate fudge brownie, kueh lapis, pudding, pizza, dorayaki, crab claw, ice lemon tea, lemonade, etc etc etc)! Mouth-watering, simply irresistable and definitely fattening! Next stopover - Royal Plaza on Scotts!

2. Jalan-Jalan at Raffles City - Mission: To get a top or something from River Island. But unfortunately nothing interests me as much as Dorothy Perkins/Esprit/Topshop! There's this simple black sweater with a hoodie at Esprit, a very very VERY cute NICE bag at DP and a super fantastico fantabulous extra extra extra marvellous big bronze/brown bag at Topshop! So which one did I pick?

Obviously it's the hot bag from Topshop! I've never splurged so much on a bag but I have to make an exception this time. Hahaha, a treat for my hard work.

3. Walk-a-bout at Raffles Place/Clarke Quay/City Hall - There were no plans in mind initially. Me and my darling were just sitting around and camwhoring and talking. We were waiting for better music from Timbre before we "checked in". But then, there was only this 2-man band who was pretty good. We stood outside and listened and then we decided to move away.

My darling suggested the Singapore River Ride and we took that ride, had a round-a-bout the river, gawking in awe and obviously damn country bumpkin. It was our first time and everything was pretty, marvellous and breath-taking. A definite recommendation for those who have not taken that ride.

4. Hangout at this very nice pub - Unfortunately, Timbre seems a bit bleak that night so we went to this very nice pub called Barracuda or Barrucada or something like that. Whatever it is, the live music was definitely fantastic and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. The band is a regular there and they even came over to our table to introduce themselves and the band. We were pretty taken aback by how friendly the people are. I wished we have been there earlier and listen to more music!

After these hangout session, me and my darling chatted a bit and proceeded to the bus stop to take the Night Rider, which is damn bloody slow...

I wish the night was longer...
I wish we could have more time on our hands...
I wish I could spend more time with you...
I wish that you wouldn't have to go away...
I wish..
I wish...
I wish....

The Gypsy Kings

2008-07-26T12:30:00.004+08:00

After such a long period of time, I finally managed to set aside some precious time to update this almost dead blog. Removed the archives, removed the daily posts, removed almost 3/4 of the blog. So what's the purpose of this blog when such major changes are done to it? Well, the purpose is to tell my beautiful readers that I'm still alive and kicking, loved and joyful at present; without exactly knowing who I really am.

Anyway, life hasn't been too good this few days mainly because I've been sick for almost two weeks now! Eye infections, sore throat, cough, runny nose, blisters, diarrhea. Right after a cousin's wedding. Not that I'm blaming his wedding, but all these are too coincidental. Hmmm, maybe just fated to be sick.

Work's okay but too bad I couldn't join a mega event. I really wanted to be part of the event so that I can add something to my resume but I totally lost my voice. The only way to communicate is to show some hand signs and write some notes and pass it to the intended person. I could only only regain my voice on Thursday - oh wait, it's only half-strength of the voice. I can't wait to fully recover my voice cos' it's time to karaoke! I miss singing at Kbox or Cash Box.

Pray for me to me recover fully & asap people! Cos' I don't want anymore people to call me Marge Simpson! Hahahaha.

Tata!

I'm so thankful to Him.

2008-06-02T15:41:00.003+08:00

Thank Allah so much that he has given us another chance to repent and be filial to our parents.

:)

Happy Belated Birthday to Me! :)

2008-05-28T19:59:00.014+08:00

Today is my 3rd day being 20 years old. Time passes so fast and all I can say is that I am really grateful and thankful for being on this ground for more than 20 years. No amount of words can express how grateful I really am to Allah SWT and to the loved ones all around me. I thank Allah SWT for giving me another chance to live and another opportunity to repent, I thank my parents for bringing me into this world and being around lovely siblings whom I unconditionally love, I thank my best friends (Izzah, Delphine & Syikin) for being such great besties and women I look up to for your inspiration, determination and cheerful attitude, I thank my lovely Saiful for showering limitless care, love and attention on me and bringing the best just to see me happy, I thank my lovely ALB for being wonderful friends who have wide potential and future high flyers, I thank my other lovely friends and acquantainces for giving me an opportunity to know you.

How I celebrated my birthday is never the priority on my birthday; but it's the loved ones around me, which matters most. I don't care whether the celebration was done in an expensive Italian restaurant, or just under the void deck and spending time talking, or beside the garbage bin and eating rubbish together (just kidding). At the end of the day, it's the effort and thought which counts. I was pretty astonished when several people whom I do not personally know texted me birthday wishes. I really appreciate your gesture!

On another note, please let me ramble on my these outings - (1) Besties Birthday Outing & (2) Celebrating my Bday with Saiful Dear (3) Graduation Day 2008 - 23rd May 2008.

(1) Besties Birthday Outing - 18 May 2008

Though I had to spend half of the day working my ass off being a "guardian angel", I managed to spend some memorable time with the besties. We met at West Coast Park, with a plan in mind to play kite initially (postponed), and then to a picnic (postponed) and finally just settled at Mac Cafe for light dinner and for a talk-cock-sing-song session. Hehehe. It was definitely refreshing to spend time just talking about our problems, "developments" and teasing one another (how could we forget this!). I will never trade them for anything just because we have known each other deeply for 7 years and rest assured, best friends forever. Delphine's bday fall on the 17th May and mine was a week later, so we decided to get together this time round since it will be pretty hard in the future to make plans. I wish time could stand still and capture those moments. To my dearest girls, I really appreciate everything that you have done and we will forever be best friends okie! I don't have the latest photo of all of us but hope you can make do with my photo with your lovely vintage present. I'm so lovin' it!

(2) Celebrating my Bday with Saiful Dear - 25th May 2008
If I were to put in details the things we did to celebrate my birthday, it would take over a century for me to describe it explicitly. Furthermore, nothing could express how grateful I am and I will truly treasure and definitely appreciate the effort that you had put it. What matters is the thought. The thought which counts and your efforts moved me so much. In order to make up for my loss of descriptive words and details, let me show you some pics! Well, a picture speaks a thousand words. Oh wait, it's a Gazillion words.

So there you go. I could only let you view 3 pics; the rest... are only for my eyes. And as you can see, he fooled me big time! I thought it was something from Quik but it was actually a marvellous MP4 player. Hehehe. Anyway, thank you so much to my darling Saiful for bringing the best for me. I really appreciate all of your effort and thoughts. Thank you so much once again!

I didn't get a chance to spend time with my family on my birthday till today. But whatever it is, I will still like to thank all of you so much and love you to the core! Here's what my siblings gave me. Hehehe!

I'm so lovin' it. It holds my umbrella, my wallet, tissue, keys, a novel and the MP4! I love spacious bags! Thank you so much dear siblings!

(3) Graduation Day 2008

So the birthday is so totally over and I haven't got the chance to declare that I have... ... ... Graduated! Yes, thank you so much to my parents who have paid so much for my education and seen me through poly! And my mom actually bought me a gift to signify my graduation.

A graduation bear! Hehe.

My lovely parents & I

ALB - Our Motto in Class: Never stop munching! ;)

So there you go, a post filled with pictures. Pictures speak gazillion words!

3 Entries. In ONE Post.

2008-04-14T15:36:00.010+08:00

So bear with this loooooooooooooooooooong, booooooooring post...

On the way home, after a brief breakfast with a crazy and hungry sister, we passed by a bicycle shop. After a few minutes of totally delirious contemplations, she decided to buy.. not one but TWO bicycles. I was so freaking freaked out man. (Freaking freaked out????) I'm not bragging that my sis bought bicycles and how much I treasured it and yadda yadda yadda.. I'm talking about making a decision so quick, you don't even need to think! I could NEVER EVER make such a quick decision. Never...

After the hysterical moment, we decided to cycle home. And yup, I tried cycling and... FAILED! Oh my goodness la. Imagine after 4 years of NOT cycling - I totally lost the skills. And even embarassed myself by falling so badly.. Err... Actually it ain't so bad.. Considering that I only fell beside a ditch! Hey don't you dare laugh ok.. It's BESIDE the ditch..

My sister was laughing away like one mad woman and I was stranded there feeling shaky and wished that my mommy was there to hold me and tell me I'm gonna be alright and wished it'll never happen... My ass! No such thing man. My SWEEEEEET (No joke!) sister didn't laugh (initially) and I got up from the "sitting position" and pushed the bike away from me.. I felt my cheeks turned so red and it was literally burning from embarassment.. And to those onlookers who saw me fell, I knew that you're gonna laugh but thanks for not laughing in front of me!

The above is just to show you how great my acting skills are. Haha! That was the "sitting position" I've got myself into and Bujang (name of the bicycle! Hahahaha!) was on top of me.. And I'm pretty sure my mouth was agaped like that when I fell. :/

But after much practising, I got myself back into shape and I'm so ready for our future cycle trips. Recently, my other sis and I went for a mini nite-cycling trip around our estate and it was hilarious because I've to watch her fall! Hahaha. *Hope she doesn't read this part! ;P*

And the second trip was to West Mall with the elder sis last Thursday, in the rain! But rest assured I was so "on" and there weren't much difficulties. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed it! Thanks to my sisters!

......

My lovely Saiful got himself a .... FIGHTING SPIRIT.. Err I mean, fighting FISH. And the funniest part is that he has a very cute name for his pet! Think blue-ish purple and music genre - metal! And yesterday, he sms-ed me that his lovely pet didn't want to eat the big ant that he caught for it and he was pissed off.. I can't believe that he was pissed off because of that. So cute.. You make me wanna pinch you and hug you so tightly and you're just... so adorable! ;)

......

And last Saturday, my lovely Saiful and I went to Singapore Youth Festival for the Band Display Competition held at National Stadium. And our secondary school won the Silver Award! I think you all played very well. And small sis, you played your percussion really well and that last minute "rocking action" during the "We Will Rock You" symphony looked pretty.. wrong! ;p

......

End of saga!

OMG OMG OMG.

2008-04-01T01:58:00.003+08:00

I will like to thank my beloved Saiful for suprising me with the TWELVE great albums! Thank you so much and I really appreciate it. Arghhhhh, I'm so crazy and elated right now and I don't feel like sleeping and I just wanna wail and hug you tightly.. You are so sweet! ;)

The first album I listened to was 30 Seconds To Mars album. Damn, this is why I totally agree that Jared Leto should make his singing career as the only career he should be in! Hahah! This album sounded somewhat emotional. Nonetheless, it pretty rocked me out of this world and I think I'm probably on cloud nine now. But reality slapped hard on my face when the last song "Hunter" blasted on the headphones. It sounded great, but when Jared Leto started to whisper something I couldn't configure initially, towards the end of the song, he sounded ... constipated.

:\

The second album I listened to was Amy Winehouse's Back to Black. Probably, I'm so damn outdated to be listening to these songs only NOW. All I can say is... ALL HAIL AMY! Once again, I felt as though I was brought to the outer space when track by track played beautifully. Amy Winehouse voice is so.. unique and has definitely serenaded me to the outer space instantaneously. Ahhh Amy.. Ooh Amy.. Ok, that sounded sick.

:\

The last album that I listened to for the night was Step Up 2 OST. Damn damn damn. It keeps me grooving non-stop. Thank Allah that the family is asleep. But wait.. Bro had just stormed out of the room, grabbed a bottle of mineral water and gulping it furiously, and The Grumpy Dad was awoken by the constant mini earthquakes which was caused none other than me. And to my poor neighbors who are sleeping soundly, please don't be shocked when you see little cracks on your ceiling ok. You can't blame me - Blame Step Up 2 OST for making me so high on their "energized" tracks!

:\

Alright Back To Bed..

To: Just A Friend

2008-03-27T12:24:00.006+08:00

You've spread the bad news, you let others worry and that's it. Full stop, no more questions from you. If you are in a bad situation, then I pray that Allah bless you. You've probably shared your situation with a couple of people. And maybe you just wanna "prepare" them mentally before they get the bad news. I believe that you only shared with them your bad situation and utter shock when you received the news just because you weren't mentally prepared for such matter and cared for your friends. I believe your intention is just to help them prepare themselves mentally only. But, your good intentions are limited to this.

What is your intention during the aftermath? What's your intention of asking others whether they've received the bad news or not on that day and "reassuring" others that they might get it another day? You want them to be in the same boat as you and probably you'll feel better that they've gotten it too, just like you? Are you feeling euphoric that they've gotten such unwelcome news too and probably you'll want to pat them on their back and "reassure" them that "it's ok", when you're actually carving a sinister smile on your face, secretly behind their backs?

Are you trying to show others that "Hey, I'm not the Only One who'll get this bad news too ok. I'm not that bad!" ? Why would you prance around and give others the jitters through your intensive investigation that they will get it too somehow or rather? Have you received such bad instincts before and would like others to have a taste of it too? Or are you trying to show others that, "I care for you ok, and don'worry you'll get the bad news too and we'll be in the same boat and we'll be best friends."?

Just what is your intention?

You call yourself a friend but I don't know why I felt these bad aura coming all over from you after this incident. I may not have even met you once and have only seen your pictures. But you know, from this incident, I don't even know whether you can be called a friend anymore. Maybe it's time you immersed yourself in self-help books. And if you don't have the time to borrow them, feel free to Google them or use other search engines if you don't know what Google is.

I'm not angry but I'm just confused. Confused on how you may have gotten such stupidity and boldness to question others that way. Yes, you may be the senior among others, you may know everything from A-Z, but that's just it. You may have it all, but you definitely have no authority in spreading such bad instincts to others.

Are you a... Supervisor? That's a definite no. And then.. Are you a... Senior Supervisor? Hmm, far from it. Well, are you a... let me guess - MANAGER? Oh, what a question - of course NOT. I've flattered you enough my dear, but you are just normal employee. Then let ME do the questioning: In what position, exactly and precisely, are you in which authorized you to deliver such news to other employees? If you do not know, let me tell you that your position is only as a friend to another. Not more than that. Not a supervisor, not a manager - nothing of those. So, why did you open that gap of yours so wide that pigs could fit right in? What more, full of insensitive words..

Now, don't let me wonder on how your parents teach you because nobody likes it and it's very insulting. And don't let me use vulgarities on you because that it will be unethical. And don't let me use my physical strength because it might be fatal. Don't let me see another no-brainer, insensitive message delivered by you to others because you may never know how others will treat you right back in your face, in the future.

And don't ever let me see your face. EVER. Now, would you let me show you the exit to a potential friendship.

Out of mind.

2008-03-14T19:57:00.004+08:00

Been a long time since I post something to my dead blog. Really dead dead blog. No wonder my "loyal" readers had long-time abandoned this site. Hahah. I was too busy with school and work and there were no other time for me to blog and upload any pics. But now, I'm as free as a bird (ok, not totally free.) and am able to upload pics and update this space. ;)

Currently, I've been slacking at home, spending time with my dear family and dear Saiful, and working. And yes, I am finally able to borrow a novel from the library and complete it within the date due. Haha, I was waiting for this moment ever since last semester started. I wanted to complete reading my novels within the date due. Before this, there were absolutely zilch chance for me to at least read through the first ten pages and was even late to return it to the library. Hence the $156452897988536654233333.112222 library fines. So, now I'm totally enjoying and basking in this precious moment. Cos' once my results are out, the leisure time will be filled with sending my resume to the potential employers and that'll be that.

Ahhhh, I'm really not looking forward to see my results after what I did on the day before the BPO exam. I've learnt my lesson - NEVER EVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS BEFORE GETTING DISCRETE INFORMATION ON HAND! Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Exams are over and all I could do now is to pray and pray and pray and pray and... You should get what I mean - pray hard to pass with flying, rainbow colours. Ok, prolly not that ambitious. But to graduate with my fellow batch mates successfully.

The day after the exams, the beautiful classmates organized a chalet/BBQ. I thought it was way too soon to have such a gathering. But nonetheless, I loved the occasion and all thanks to all my classmates, especially Mama Sam & Mama Pat, for making the occasion a fun & enjoyable one!

Take care and have a great night! ;)

Thank You So Much!

2007-12-31T22:31:00.001+08:00

In order to close the chapter for Year 2007, I decided to post a new entry. ( Although it's in the midst of unfinished projects and whatnots.) Within hours, we're all gonna embrace Year 2008 and within hours, it is time for us to make a new year resolution. And for the past years, my new year resolutions have been revolving around money issues. This time my new year resolution is.. to be content and grateful with everything that He has given me. Be it good or bad.

I hope I can achieve it. It may sound easy and really stupid because maybe anyone can be content and grateful with anything, but can I actually be content and grateful with EVERYTHING - The Good or The Bad that He's plan for my life? Hmm. Really something difficult for me to do, knowing how ungrateful sometimes I could be. Like fretting non-stop about the people around me, like complaining to myself and cursing silently of the people who can could spend their money like how they waste water...

Anyhow, I hope I can remember this resolution and plant this into my brain firmly.

Year 2007 has been full of memories. From how disappointed I felt when I received the IPP Grades, to the ever-stressful projects which led me to disappointment, to the stressful and never-ending work related problems, to the sadness of accepting an uncle who passed away this year during Ramadhan, to the trip I had with my family to Port Dickson, to my sister's engagement, to the never-ending money issues again, to the endless heated arguments I had with my boyfriend, to the BBQ that I had recently with my classmates, and to the everlasting love I shared with my boyfriend. Though it there's a lot of ups and downs this year, I know this will somehow serves as a lesson and this will definitely make a stronger person. Stronger emotionally, mentally, spritually and physically. Yes, I hope so.

So before I end this post with a "Happy New Year to All of You!", I will like to share some photos with you which are taken in 2007! Hehe. To the people that I owe the photos from like almost a year ago or is it 1.5 years ago, please don't be angry. Hehe. I will try to send you asap. Okay Nas, although I've said it for so many times, I will TRY okie. You all must keep on pestering for it!

This photo was taken at Lau Pa Sat with our very own French lady Rosana!

This photo was taken at the National Library Courtyard. ;)

Projects periods caused us a lot of controversies, but we still love one another as good great friends!

This photo was taken at Port Dickson - my family and Roni! The first trip I had with the whole family after a very long time.

This photo was taken during Bandzout Competition 130707. Presenting to you Leviathan and my boyfriend as the lead singer. Till now, I am really very proud of you for being so brave to join this competition. They came in first in the competition! ;)

Best Friends for LIFE!

My attachment friends/colleagues/gossipmongers in PA! Great team mates!

The first time I went to a soccer match with my lovely boyfriend and his friends! Singapore Vs Thailand Match in January was really spectacular!

First Class outing cum BBQ! ;)

And last but not least...

A very happy boyfriend + A very happy girlfriend

is equal to a ...

HAPPY 3rd year Anni! Hehe. We celebrated our 3rd year together so happily on the night of 29th December 2007 & 30th December 2007 by karaoke-ing, watching soccer and spending so much time together! Thank you to my lovely sweetheart for the gifts. I treasure it so much and I cherish our relationship forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

Happy New Year to All of You!

KNNNBCCB!

2007-12-18T11:53:00.001+08:00

Having my two-weeks break at the moment. Before you even start cursing me for having my break and you didn't have any at all, let me tell you this : My two-weeks break is fully packed with school projects and work! Therefore, there's no need to "envy" me for having this break.

Damn shagged for the past few weeks. What I mean by shagged is "extremely zonked out". Not the dirty word "shagged" that you will possibly think. Hahaha. Anyway, I had a lot of brainjuices squirting out from my ear the other day for thinking so much about that bloody entrepreneurship project. Totally wanna kill Ms CA for putting us in a spot but maybe.. she's just making our whole idea a better one. And my whole class is doing food & beverage. So coincidental. Maybe, we all just LOVE to eat. In class, every table can be spotted eating something. My ALB girls are the craziest bunch of people as we will ALWAYS munch and munch and munch. We've never got tired of munching in class. Hahaha.

Anyway, besides school projects and damn-ass-knn tests, I also had to spend time working my ass off at that knn place. Never mind. More work = more $$ = more shopping = more treats! Yes, that's the only formula that I'll have to live by whenever the satanic alter ego tells me to stop working.

Knn place with knn people but luckily the customers are not to the extreme knn. It was quite okie. Yesterday, there's this customer who wanted to purchase some hair care products. And all of which are under the pharmacist, in which we do not have a pharmacist anymore and in which all of us (the colleagues) saw that he has a receding hairline and he thinks he's some kind of Elvis. Knn. We all thought he's some stuck-up ass by the way he talks. "Call your headquarters and check whether they have these products." That was exactly what he said to me. KNN. And I asked my colleague to check it. Because the phone was inside the store room and she closed the store room door, I couldn't hear what the hell she said to the pharmacist from other stores. All she said to me after the phone call was, "GWC have two products and they can't check the stocks cos under pharmacist." HELLLLLOOOOOO? Anybody also can find out about that what. What I wanted her to do was to check the stocks from SEVERAL stores and find out whether they can keep it aside for the customer. And in the end, I'd to call again and make my customer wait for sooooo long.

After which, I called out to the customer and informed him. Luckily, he wasn't so angry with us and didn't make so many sarcastic remarks.

The moral of the story is to never make a receding-hairline cum Elvis-impersonator, customer wait. Hahaha.

Okie not that funny lah. Anyhow, my eyes are swollen again! Knn. Yesterday, my left eye was swollen and today my RIGHT eye is swollen. So I woke up with swollen red eyes, a very bad cough, a splitting headache, an injured finger, cramped calfs and another blackhead formed. And this package comes with a groggy attitude. Thanks ah.

Oklah. I better get ready for work.. See. Work again. Work work work. Never mind. Shall remember the formula.

More work = more $$ = more shopping = more treats!

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Back to School!

2007-11-13T17:23:00.000+08:00

This post is a bit overdue cos' I've started school since yesterday actually. But today, I decided to post an entry because I'm afraid Blogger will delete my account. Which I know they won't unless we cancelled our account.... RIGHT? ;/ Okay, I'm just making myself feel better.

Anyway, 2 months and 3 weeks holiday was good/great/fabulous/refreshing/energizing/a bit stressed out cos' of work/relaxing! Yup, I'm satisfied with how my holidays went although I only had a mini getaway to Port Dickson, Malaysia only during the last two days! Haha, nevertheless, I enjoyed myself to the fullest and will miss those "long-break sessions" whereby I just sit and stoned in front of a book/TV/computer/Marsha. Cos' now school is back and the modules is definitely getting very tough and yes, I am so ready to be back to my stressful mode - which is burying my face in those assholic (is there such a word? ;p) lectures notes for ICAs and countless, never-ending, ever stressful projects! But of course, teaming up with the lovely, smart ALB Ladiez (Kia How not included this time round, ;p) will help me overcome all these obstacles. ;)

Frankly, I'm in no mood to update this blog because I've really got nothing to say. I wanted to privatised this blog because I could no longer say whatever I'm feeling deep down just because I will hurt others' feelings. Be it school, work, family and other matters. So, I better keep it this way - which is to update once in a while.

Anyhow, update about myself. I'm in the last semester and will probably graduate in April 2008 (that is if I do well enough). Just now, one of tutors told us about the survey that we're gonna do after grad. And this survey will be disseminated among all of us and it's related to our job status. Well, it was quite surprising that the median gross salary is quite low.

Hmm. Let's just leave this thought aside and focus on my not-too-good grades for now. Okie dokie, I've got to go now and immerse in Channel 8 Drama and Alanis Morrissette! ;))

I don't see the need.

2007-09-27T16:16:00.001+08:00

I typed a very long post about what I thought, when it all started, why I felt that way, where it began and how I really, really felt from the bottom of my heart. And then when I was about to click "Publish", I realized that I would be creating trouble and hurt myself like never before. So, I decided to delete it and totally forget about posting it online. Let it be known to me, myself and I.

I don't see the need to broadcast my problems and thoughts - which will definitely invite chaos. So, from what I gather after so long of comtemplating a matter which totally have wasted my time, my energy (dah lah tengah puase. hehehe.) and brain juices, I realized that these are all "dugaan" in this festive,holy month.. So, bersabar and harus bertekad untuk menghadapi segala cabaran.

So, from now onwards, I MUST think positive and be prepared for all the challenges ahead!

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So fun!

2007-09-11T00:40:00.001+08:00

I am a happy girl. I've watched "My Boss, My Hero" which is a Japanese Drama! So funny, so cool, so touching, so romantic, so .... SO DAMN EXCITING AND INTERESTING. Initially, I wasn't into this drama. But after watching the first few episodes, I was so addicted lah. As usual, Nagase Tomoya never fail to make the viewers laugh out loud and he is always giving that stupid, blurry look! Damn funny!

So, I'm going to hunt for more JDrama. But, looking at my schedule, it seems like I will be in deep shit, considering I have many working days. Don't think I will have so much time to browse for JDrama anymore. ;(

Ok ok, let's get back to the topic - I'm so gonna hunt more for JDrama. All these JDrama makes me crazy you know - Hero, Beautiful Life, The Haunted School, My Husband (which starred the same actor), Long Vacation, Love Revolution, Great Teacher Onizuka... Countlesssssss! Driving me crazy. Hahaha!

What other JDrama do any of you recommend? I've tried watching KDrama. And totally doesn't really work for me. So far, I've only been addicted to that popular Korean Movie "200 Pounds Beauty", which starred beautiful Kim Ah Joong! But after that, I couldn't find anything interesting. Maybe it's because of the lack of good-looking actors and actresses ah. Hahaha. WTH.

Anyway, JDrama JDrama JDrama! I want JDrama. Please give me any suggestions on JDrama. Haiya, the thing is right, I don't think anybody read this almost-dead blog. Nobody commented, not even my lovely Darling. Hehe, I'm just kidding. :)

Oklah, I've got to sleep now.

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Gonna have the Holy Days soon. Not Holidays!

2007-09-07T10:47:00.001+08:00

I know I've been disrespectful to my fellow readers (who have been visiting my blog regularly) by not updating for close to a month. So now, I'm blogging lah. Hahaha.

Anyway, exams are OVER. And I'm not exactly content with it at the moment. Cos' my schedule is all about the work schedule. Yes, even Saiful was not really happy with it. But, I've got no choice. I'm not the type of person who will leave my colleagues in vain to find people to replace me. Because I'm the one who created the problem. Okay, you don't have to understand whatever I'd just typed and I don't wanna blabber about work to anyone or anything anymore. Whatever it is, I'm working hard for me, myself and I. WAY TO GO!

Holy Days are coming up soon! Yes, the Ramadan month! I don't know why I am so enthusiastic over Ramadan. But, I can just feel this overwhelming feeling in me.. I want Ramadan now. Hahaha. Okay, so during this month, it's all about being patient and being patient and being more patient than usual. Totally the month to test my patience!

Okay, I don't know what else I wanna type. So Bye!

Sidetrack: Saiful was on MSN. Don't know whether to pm him or not. Cos' he's having lessons.To Pm or Not To Pm. Anyway Saiful Darling, if you're reading this, I'm not ignoring you on MSN but I'm just afraid you're having lessons now and I wouldn't want to disturb you. Miss my darling a lot!

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Projects turned us into evil creatures, but we learnt our lesson!

2007-08-07T20:42:00.001+08:00

Don't you agree with me? Before all these projects piled up, we were all okay and happy and enjoyed one another's company, free from any gossips or rumors or discomforts and we are just ourselves - A bunch of cute and happy BUTTERRR people. ;P

NOTE: 'Ourselves' refers to my dearest ALB. (For those who do not know what's ALB, hit yourself 10 freaking times on your bloody face. And for my ALB members, we ARE a bunch of cute people. Oh yes, not to forget Sahara is the cutest of all. I will never forget to say that cos' I will never risk my life. HAHAHA. Just kidding. Sahara, you are the cutest and with me being the second cutest. Hahaha.)

But when all these projects piled up and there were tight deadlines all at the same time, it turned us into hostile, irritating, evil, heartless creatures. Okay, maybe NOT the heartless part. Hehehe. (How can we be heartless right? That's so not our group lorrr. BUTTERRR. Hehehe.) But it definitely turned us into hostile creatures. I, for one, can definitely vouch for that cos' I turned into one today. (Yes, I admit I am evillll. JAGUAAARRR! ;P)

Well, all I can do now is to apologize to every one of you whom I've hurt your feelings unintentionally. I didn't mean to show you this crazy, evil part of me. But yeah, you've all seen it. And could see how bitchy I was just now, ranting at the top of my lungs regarding all the injustice I/we faced.

So to every one of you in ALB and for the other peepos, I apologized for my bitchy behavior and will try to keep such behavior at bay. ;)

Anyway, I'm actually very busy now but decided to update this blog because I just want to share with you what I've been through lately. Now, I am only left with CM Project submission and presentation. Still thinking whether we should do a skit or just a formal presentation.

All the other groups (especially Sam's group) have been putting up a lot of interesting and creative skits. So basically, I'm thinking of one too. But then, CM is a technical module (as what Nasreen said). I guess we shall just stick to the formal presentation and do our best. Be it a formal presentation or creative skits that we've come out with, I know my group is the best. Cos' we've put in the best that we can and of course we all know we ARE the best. Hahaha. So many "best". ;)

This CM project is definitely one of the most craziest, difficult-est-est-est module I've ever had. Whatever the lecturer/tutor said, I understood. But when it comes to application, I'm totally hopeless. Therefore, I will like to seek help from the 2 geniuses - Nasreen Parveen and Marcellian Arlany. "Help me! Help me!" ;p

Anyway, today I have something interesting to share with you. Or maybe let me put it the other way. There's something I want to share with you that interests me so much. According to dear Nasreen, Allah S.W.T is testing us in this world in a lot of ways. But these tests will be compensated in the Other World. Therefore, we must try to be very patient and be brave to face all these challenges in this world. Does it interests you? Yes No? Okay, whatever it is, I didn't know about this value until just now at AMK. So interesting that it makes me ponder about the things that I did for the past 19 years of my life and I feel so damn evil and guilty. Argh, I am an evil creature, but slowly turning into a very nice cute little angel (Please say the cutesy part in a cutesy voice please? EEEEEE.)

Whatever it is, I feel so damn guilty when I reflected the things that I did in the past. Therefore now, I will try my best to curb my anger and will try to be patient to face all the obstacles and will be brave to face anything!

Go Syam Go! ;)) Hehehe.

Alright, the post is getting longer and getting more and more irrelevant. So bye. I need to resume on CM.

Side track a bit!

To ALB: (I just have to blog about this part of the joke cos' it's so damn funny!)

Sahara: "How's your butterr business?"
Sahara: "Look what your butterrr has done to me. Ai yo yo!"
Nasreen: "I drink coffee, cos' I Singapore."
Aqilah: (With the fingers gesture, Hehehe) "Deh! Namarichi!!"
Marcel: "... Takashimaya.." (Marcel said this, but out of the tone. So cute!)

And as for me, I don't think I have any funny incidents during the skit. ;p

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I tear my heart open.

2007-06-27T23:48:00.001+08:00

Ok, so the previous was really agitating. And it still is. So don't bother asking for more info about bloody IPP.

Anyway, gonna create a Guinness World Record for having the highest number of projects with so many close deadlines all over this month. Be it individual or group projects - all of em' are killing me! But.. it's ok. This is a test from Almighty God. And I'm sure we can go through this together. Allez Les Blues!!! Hahaha.

Just had my CRM Test just now and I don't think I can predict how well I did cos' the tutor seemed a bit.. out of mind. Her sentences were a bit... amusing and doesn't really make sense. Hahaha, never mind. I'm just glad I went through all this and did my best!

I had a long chat with my sister just now. How fast time flies. I just felt as though we were still young and childisn (still is actually, hahaha!) and arguing over the slightest things just yesterday. But, dalam sekelip mata, she's gonna get engaged soon. Then maybe Insyaallah, she'll get married in two years. Then left me, bro and youngest sis. Then the house will not be as lively as before. And then we will not be as close anymore. And then she'll have children.

And then.. I don't wanna think about it. I just feel a bit sad thinking about it. But of course I am happy for her that she has found her happiness and hope Almighty Allah will let them be together forever, happily ever after.

Ok, so let's not dwell on this matter anymore. Anyway, Siew Ching is gonna leave tmr morning to Canada everybody! So to Siew Ching a.k.a Chingy (hehe.), hope you'll do well in Canada and all the best in everything that you do! OK, I said this so many freakin' times - Don't forget me!! Hahaha.

It's so late already and my eyes tengah kuyu ni and am gonna sleep now. Morning class tomorrow morning! Good night!

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And this is what I get.

2007-06-15T19:06:00.001+08:00

I waited so long to receive the IPP Results. Was so enthusiastic and excited to get the results. Of course I expected a good grade for bloody IPP since I knew I put in so much effort for it. I stayed back till late for IPP just to email a client. I changed my bloody script countless times, called so many clients per day and wasted my bloody energy to hear all of the clients rejected the proposals. In order words, I slogged so hard for this IPP.

But did they know how much effort I put in? Did they know I tried my very best? Did they know I changed scripts so many times? Did they know that when they rejected my prospect profiles I was totally devastated? Did they know I put in so much effort to qualify the prospect profiles? Did they know all of this?

I should have known better. I shouldn't have worked so hard for despicable people. I've learnt my lesson.

Yes, at this point of time, I wonder how the rest did for IPP. Did they get the same grade as me? Did they do better than me? How do they feel about their IPP Grade? Did they work as hard as me for that grade or were they just slacking around?

Yes, I wanted to know how they fare for this IPP. But looking back, their grades won't change my grade. Their grades is their business. Now it's about me and my bloody IPP Grade.

Of course, I am grateful with what I've achieved. But if you slogged so hard for IPP, you'll expect to get a good grade. But what I got for IPP is bloody... injustice.

I had wanted to complain to the liaison officer, but I know I will be doing a stupid mistake. Cos' he's not God. He can't change whatever I've achieved for IPP. In fact, I think he'll even complain to my PEM about me causing a big fuss over IPP.

Although I am super pissed, I will like to thank Allah S.W.T for giving me the patience to bear with despicable people. Thank you so much Allah S.W.T!

On a lighter note, I was glad that I had the time to watch 30 Seconds to Mars "The Kill" videos on Youtube.com. Yeah, they rock man! Can't believe Jared Leto was the vocalist! Jared Leto leh! Wah lau!

Then I watched The Cranberries videos for "Zombie" and "Linger" - my favourite songs of all their albums. Ahhh. Felt so good to hear their songs after a looooong time.

Then I watched Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Jack's Mannequin and the latest one so far.... The Trooper by Gauchos! Hahahaha. Hilarious but super clever kids. Really salute them! Just click on this link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_4aGXTHo7w.

So yeah, today's quite a good day. I hope it'll be a better day tomorrow.

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So what now?

2007-06-12T11:59:00.001+08:00

Hi everybody!

Been a long time since I updated this space. Well, what can I say. I've been really busy with so many things. Both hands are full with school matters, family matters, boyfriend matters, friends matters, work matters bla bla bla.

A lot of things had happened. I'm working as a part-time "guardian angel" now (hahahah!), school projects are piling up, I've finished my IPP!, my darling boyfriend had his hair cut (so gorgeous!), small sis had her hair cut too (look like ch--na girl, hahaha ), eldest sister preparing for her big day (can't wait!), family getting busy as day goes by, and the biggest news was.. I've turned ONE YEAR OLDER!

Thank you God for bringing me into this world and show me the true colors of some people. Thank you for guiding me to the right path and prevented me from joining those people. Thank you for letting me live for another year. Thank you to Mighty Allah!

Anyway, I've got to blog about this matter which concerns certain relatives. I hope Mighty Allah will open up your bloody eyes and hope you'll be guided to the right path. Insyaallah.

Alright, so I've updated my blog. And I got to go now. Have a good day!

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Just Letting Out Some Steam, People.

2007-04-23T23:31:00.001+08:00

Well, we don't wish for such things to happen to us. But it just happen. Because God created them. We are supposed to show God that we can take it easy and be patient with everything. But we just can't.

Sometimes, I just don't understand why we have to face this, of all people. Is it because we did too many sins? Is it because we are not strong enough? Why did He chose us?

I just don't understand. Why us of all people? I know I am NOT suppose to question His creations. But.. I can't help it now. I really can't. I want us to be safe from all these.

Well, I just hope that everything will be ok and we are protected against all of them. I have faith in myself and us. So, we must be strong for each other.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a lighter note, this week will be my last week of attachment. I still remember the first day I was attached to this company. I wasn't estatic and was so worried that I will do badly. I was so afraid that things will not fall in place and I will disappoint everybody. I was so afraid that the managers will mark me down.

This time round, I felt different. Now, it's not about saving face or whatever you wanna call it. Now, it's about surviving the last few days here. I bet it's not gonna be okay.

I'm not being pessimistic here, but this is just the reality. And reality is meeting my managers tomorrow and get as many leads as possible. Sigh, why do I have to do this project while others are in a much better position?

I know this sucks and I know I am fretting a lil' bit too much. Maybe there's a "udang sebalik batu".

Okay, gotta sleep now. Goodnight!

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10 Weird/Strange/Crappy Habits About Me

2007-04-16T17:58:00.001+08:00

I shall not write the rules of the game. I'm just doing this purely out of boredom! AAAAAH.

10 Weird Habits About Me

1. I cannot sleep without the fan directed at my ... FEET.

2. I have some sorta fetish for BMW cars & SUVs. Wish to have one gigantic SUV so my family can travel with me wherever I go. [ The big problem now is I don't own a car Licence. :/ ]

3. Sometimes, I stare at myself in the mirror for a freaking long time. Don't ask me why. I don't even know! [ This only happens at home; NEVER in school, work, public toilets.. etc etc. ]

4. When I was in Secondary school, I love to crush my M & Ms and eat it! Where do I crush it? On my A Maths textbook! [ I admit I simply HATE A Maths! ]

5. I love jogging. - Is this considered weird? Well, to me at least. Cos' I don't usually work out!

6. I have short-term memory loss. I can put my handphone/anything in my bag one second. And the next second, I'll look search for the handphone/anything FRANTICALLY!

7. I call my cat random/different/crappy/never-existed-in-the-dictionary names every single day! I just can't stick with the name Marsha all the time unless I'm angry. ;)

8. All-time favourite household chore - Mopping the Floor! [ Note : Applies at home only. Ha ha ha! ]

9. I don't fancy chatting online - unless it's urgent.

10. I don't think I have anymore weird habits!

There you go! 10 most weirdest/crappiest/whateverest habits about me. You people should tag me something like .. what are the Top Ten Hot Stuff That I Will Like To Get On My Birthday Which Falls On The 25th May. Hehehe. Wouldn't that be better!

Anyway, attachment was ok. Gonna end soon in 1 week's time! Hip hip Hooray! Yes, I know many fellow bloggers from NYP [ who are having attachment now ] have posted the same expressions on their blog. Well, the same goes to me. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO BE OVERRR.

Though that said, I think I will miss this place ultimately. Especially the PEOPLE! Oh yes, not forgetting the food at Open Space/Air?, basement food and the autie at the OPEN SPACE RICE STALL! She has a very high-pitched voice! And she'll repeat the same thing to the customers, "Laaaaagiiiii! Some moreeeee!" With that same high pitch voice!!

Hahaha.

Ok, gotta ciao now! [ Forgotten it's TIME-OFF! ]

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To The Left, To The Right.

2007-04-13T17:10:00.001+08:00

To the left, to the left. To the right, to the right. Hahaha, funnyyyyy!

Do you know what the hell I am actually talking about? I am actually referring to Beyonce's Irreplaceable! Well, apparently, there is a "new" version of Irreplaceable. No, it's not from Beyonce again. It was sang by a guy! And his version was .."To the right, to the RIGHT!". Hahaha, you should go and have a listen to it! It's so .. merepek nak mampos but funny.

Actually, it's not THAT funny. But when I thought of Lina's action in the club, it became super hilarious! Ok, maybe Siti might understand. Kan Siti kan? Hahaha! Kiter agaknye dah kene sampuk dengan adegan Lina. Sampai terikot-ikot! To the left, to the left!

Ok, so now I am waiting to go home. It's 5.02pm. Oh yes. Today marks the day where the SP peeps are leaving PA. Thanks girls & guys for making this journey at PA a memorable on. Gonna miss every one of you!

Alright, gotta ciao now.

P.S: Aqilah, do I really have to do the 10 weird habits thingy? Because I think I'm weird enough that everybody knows about it. Ha ha ha. =p

Find singles in your area!

Thank You Best Friends!

2007-03-25T19:05:00.000+08:00

Yes, this post is dedicated to my the greatest best friends I've ever had in the whole wide world!

I know the pictures are long overdue girls. So sorry, I have been busy! :/

Anyway, it has been so long girls. It has been 6 years! SIX Years and we're still in contact with each other! Well, we haven't been spending much time together but it's not the quantity that matters. It's the quality time that I truly cherish! You are the bestest bestest girl friends I've ever had! Only God knows how much I truly care for all of you. Do take care of yourself and please give me a call or send me a message if you need someone to talk to. I am always here for you girls!

Lots of Best Friend Love & Hugs,

Nursyamilah

It's a MONDAAAAAY.

2007-03-12T17:11:00.000+08:00

Yeah, it's a Monday. Monday Blues. Ugh. I HATE MONDAYS & SUNDAYS. I hate Mondays because it's the start of the week & I hate Sundays because it's the end of the week and I gotta work the very next day! I'm such a lazy bum.

Alright, so I have purchased my "Treasure". And the "Treasure" will be in my possession by Wednesday, 14th March 2007. I totally can't wait for that day. Finally, after countless whines and complaints, I managed to get my hands on that "Treasure". I can't wait any longer! I want it now!

My specs have broken into pieces. Ok, exagerrating. But it's GOING TO break into pieces. And looking at the condition, I can predict that it might just not work by Thursday or the end of the week. But it's ok. The "Treasure" will come in handy by then! He he he.

Oh yes. I had a very bad day last Friday. I thought today I will be killed eventually today. But I was totally wrong. She even COMPLIMENTED me. Man, this is .. amazing. Thank you to Mighty Allah for helping me to go through that bad day. Without you, I don't think I will be able to survive this. Thank you Mighty Allah. I promise I will try to do my best in the future. Insyaallah.

But whatever it is, I still take it as a lesson to be learnt. Just because she complimented me, I still hold on to my belief. And that is NEVER to delegate work at the very LAST MINUTE. You people should know that I totally TOTALLY DETEST/HATE/DISLIKE last minute work. Especially when I have arranged a meeting with someone! I hate changing my plans!

Okay, enough rantings. On a lighter note, today I will be going out with my beloved family for my Elder Sis's Birthday Dinner today! She's already 22! That crazy woman. Hahah.

To My Beloved Sister, Nana,
I wish you a Happy Belated 22nd Birthday! May God bless you with all the good things in the world. You are the best sister in the whole wide world. (Of course, with Syahidah lah. Both of you are the best sisters anyone could ever have!) The temper may be a bit unbearable but still, who cares! You are the best!

To My Beloved Brother, Abang Yazid,
I wish you a Happy Belated 26th Birthday! May God bless you with all the good things in the world. You are the best brother anyone could every have. Sometimes, a bit crazy lah. But still ok. Not that bad. Hahahaha!

Alright. That's all people. I can't wait to see my Darling on Wednesday and get our hands on that "Treasure"!

How To Catch Your Wave?

2007-03-03T15:21:00.000+08:00

The title of the post is so random lah. I was listening to this band [forgotten the name already] and they were singing,"Hey girl, I wanna catch your wave.." So, I was thinking how the hell are they gonna catch the wave. Like what the hell. Ok, random!

So attachment is alright. More tasks have been assigned and definitely generates more "excitement". The people there are nice, especially the boss. The colleagues are super fine! Interesting characters!

Had a super great day yesterday. Siti getting hyper and was doing the malay dance all of a sudden! Super hilarious and it brought about the craziness in everybody. This is the way to live! Usually, the office is so quiet and all I could hear was the printing machine generating some stuff, June/Joyce talking over the phone, constant whispers bla bla bla BUT NO laughter. Sooooo peaceful over there. Yeah, sometimes it gets a tad too boring. I know we have to be serious during the work time but it's way tooooooooooo serious. So people, if you chance upon this blog, please don't be too serious. Heh. 'Nuff said bout the work thingy.

I haven't talk about Valentine's Day! It was SUPERB! Thanks to my Darling for making my day! So how did we spent that special day? We went Karaoke-ing! Hehe. I love singing with my Darling! So fun! Thank you thank you thank you thank you baby for that marvellous day! =))

Oh yes, back to yesterday! I met my Darling after sooooo long! Hehe. Missing you badly now. And Darling, Happy 26th Monthasary! =))

Alright, the weather looks so good.. Gonna catch some sleep now!

It's a bloody day.

2007-02-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

After the super-hectic tight-scheduled bloody-hell bodohnye-papers, I finally got the time to totally relax and just.. relax. Can sleep at an earlier time and slept for a very long time. Ha ha hai! This is just so great. This is what I really needed after much mugging till 5 AM and bear with the bloody migraine!

But, all that relaxing will only last till tomorrow. Man, this is shit. This is all because of the Industrial Placement Program where there campak people all over Singapore. Kana sai. Then, I was posted to this unknown company. I think this is like a call-centre. I read it from some people's blogs and stuff. Man, this IS shit! Really really SHIT ya know!

Luckily, I know how to get there. It's kinda stupid cos I need to change bus and all that. Just now, I decided to so-called survey the area so that I can familiarise with the place and stuff. Reached the bus stop and waited for the bus. Waited and waited and bloody waited for bloody 25 minutes. I was wondering why the hell did the bus had to come so bloody late. It was already in the evening and the sky look so bloody dark. I was wondering whether to complain to the SBS transit regarding the bad service.

But, I was such a sotong lah. The small sis pointed to the signboard which showed the bus service timetable. And bloody hell, the last bus was at 6pm! I missed the last bus by freaking fifteen minutes. The bus doesn't operate on Saturday after 6pm, Sunday and Public Holidays. Man, this IS shit! I wasted my time.

So yeah, half of the day has been wasted waiting for the bloody bus. Kana sai! Oh ya. The papers were bloody crappy too. Super uber crappy, shitty and all the bad words on them. Hope I pass all of em!

Enough of the rantings. Just wish me luck for the attachment on Monday!

Keep Holding On!

2007-01-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

I think I've endured way too much. So in order to de-stress, I decided to dedicate a song. And that song is dedicated to none other than ME. I think I need this song. I need motivational songs. Songs that will inspire/aspire me to become a better person. Songs that will leave a great impact in my life. Songs that will motivate me whenever I am down and out. Songs that will make me remember my entire life. Songs that give a significant meaning. I've been listening to All American Rejects's Move Along everyday. Thought it's time for me to look for another song to add on to my Motivational Song List.

Recently, the radio stations have been playing Avril Lavigne's Keep Holding On. So yes, I am addicted to it. No, not only because I kinda like Avril's songs whatsoever. But I think this song is just right for me at this point of time. It is just what I wanted. A motivational song.

I am certainly lazy to put up the whole lyrics here. Because I need to insert the tags. (You get what I mean?) So go and find the lyrics and sing them to yourself if you have the time or something.

So here's a bit from the original lyrics. (Syam, this is for you.)

"Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you."

Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On

I will stay strong.

2007-01-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

I will persist.
I will be frank.
I will be brave.
I will be happy.
I will stay strong.
I will not give up.
I will be sarcastic.
I will try my best.
I will tell the truth.
I will show more love.
I will achieve my goals.
I will put in more effort.
I will be more outspoken.
I will face all the challenges.
I will try to be independent.
I will let go of all the grudges.
I will be friendly and sociable.
I will be supportive of myself.
I will take great care of myself.
I will be more careful and tactful.
I will greet anyone and everyone.
I will not let them bring me down.
I will try to use less of the vulgarities.
I will do my tutorials and self-learning.
I will not let others step over my head.
I will not let others look down upon me.
I will not back out at the very last minute.
I will put in initiative in everything that I do.
I will let them know if they step over my limit.
I will instil much more confidence than before.
I will lend a listening ear to anyone and everyone.
I will do everything to be a better person.
I will not give up this time!

A New Beginning

2007-01-01T12:31:00.000+08:00

Today marks a new beginning of the new year. No new year resolution have been made yet. Well, I don't know what's the use of having new year resolutions when I didn't fulfill it at the end of the year. Or maybe I fulfill it partially. Ah, whatever. I just hope I could be a better person this year. A better daughter. A better sister. A better friend. A better girlfriend. A better grand-daughter. (And of course a better devil. Haha. No no no. That was just a lame joke.) I want to be a better person in 2007.

2006 have certainly left me with bittersweet memories. Thank you to every single soul out there who have created a great impact (whether good or bad) in my life in 2006. I have certainly learnt a lot of lessons and hope this will help me become a better person in 2007. May God Bless all of you and hope you'll do well in 2007. Wish you all the best!

Happy New Year 2007!

Muhammad Saiful Bin Saimin

2006-12-30T23:02:00.001+08:00

To my darling dearest.

Thank you for all the efforts that you have put in this relationship. I really appreciate what you have done for me. Thank you for being there when I'm so sick. Thank you for bringing me to the doctor's when I can't walk. Thank you for roller-skating with me. Thank you for all the breakfast, lunch and dinner dates with me. Thank you for the marvellous treats. Thank you for calming me down whenever I'm furious with everything. Thank you for giving me the motivation to do my best in everything I do. Thank you for the unlimited attention that you gave me. Thank you for all the support that you've given me when I lack the confidence. Thank you for cheering me up whenever I am down and out. Thank you for waiting for me after school. Thank you for sending me to the workplace. Thank you for walking me home all the time. Thank you for the "park times". Thank you for spending time with me though you are super busy and exhausted. Thank you for comforting me whenever I feel sad. Thank you for bearing my temper and nonsensical lame jokes.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you . Thank you.

No amount of words can describe how grateful and thankful I am to you. Thank you for EVERY SINGLE THING ( EVEN THE SINGLE SMALLEST LITTLE MINUTE THING) THAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. My love for you grows every single milli-second. I love you, Muhammad Saiful Bin Saimin.

Happy 2 years. =)

Lots of Hugs and Kisses

Your Beloved Girlfriend

Thank You Girls!

2006-12-23T23:32:00.000+08:00

To My Dearest Besties,

Thank you for the great day today! I really treasure this moment with all of you. It was fun, funny, funnier, funniest! Best giler! Hehehe.

Hope to catch up with all of you again some time soon. Meanwhile, do well for your tests, exams and everything that you do ok! All the best! =))

Ooo. Wee!

2006-12-16T13:13:00.000+08:00

It's the start of my 2 weeks break!

Been too busy with all the projects and tests till I got no time to update. That was hell! So, with this two weeks break thingy going on, I just hope I could get more rest, more money and get the projects over and done with ASAP! No more rushing at the very last minute. No more!

After the gruelling task of meeting the project deadline, the Allez Les Blue people decided to go to Escape Theme Park. Ya, I told this plan to a few of my cousins and they said, "Ugh, Escape's not my thing. So kental." I guess they said that because they have no money to experience the thrill rides. Or maybe they said that because they are jealous. Or maybe they said that because they don't know what's Escape. Or maybe they said that because they are... "so kental" themselves. Geez, it's like dickheads calling others dickheads.

So Escape was a fun place to experience how Superman fly in the skies and get dizzy, how to be Wet and Wild while taking a boat ride, how to shout vulgarities when you are almost falling out of the Viking ship, how to drip your saliva all over your shirt when you are on the Rainbow, how to cover your ears tightly and wave the stupid ghosts away when you are at the Haunted House, how to control yourself when you are sliding vigourously from side to side at the Family Rollercoaster and how to run asap when the skies turned dark and there's no more thrill rides! Haha! Such a fun day. Thanks to Nasreen for the treat. Thanks to Marcel for making me laugh with all the screaming sessions at the Haunted House. Thanks to Aqilah for sliding with me at the Family Rollercoaster. Thanks to Sahara for the soul session at Cafe Gallilee. Thank you to all of you for making my day!

The next day, I had an outing with Saiful my darling dearest sweetheart boyfriend to the Cathay near PS. I swear I've really learnt how to gorge myself with cheese fries and a humongous burger at Carls Jr.! Was so stunned when I saw the cheese fries. It's not your normal cheese fries at KFC. It taste so much better! Weeee. I love cheese! Thank you baby for the treat to Carls Jr. and to the Cinema! =)

Alright, gotta go now and dream about cheese fries. Cheese fries!